Where’s my prostate?

So my curiosity and ultimate desire has been trying to massage my prostate and achieve the ultimate male organism. I’ve been doing some research on this and trying to watch some videos on it and all sounds so easy to do. But I can’t seem to find it (prostate). I’m all on my own. I’m too embarrassed to ask my wife to help. We haven’t had sex in quite a few yrs though. She hasn’t had much desire since she had a total hysterectomy. We still love each other and always will. I’m gone a lot for my job and home on weekends. And we sleep in separate beds due to snoring issues...
Anyway. So I bought an angled vibrator to hit the glad. Got all lubed up and slid it in and hit the start button. Moved it around a bit and I think I was hitting the spot. Kinda felt like I had to pee but then lost that feeling. Was I on the gland? I don’t know?! Tried few different positions but not much luck
I do know for sure. I need to get cleaned out first of all! Yuck! Huge turn off! Maybe there was mud that got in the way of things?
If anyone has any advice,tips, or suggestions. Please help me. Maybe I’m close. Maybe I’m not.

Thanks