Everybody Loves Raymond

It was a relatively quiet night at the Barone house. The twins were staying across the street with their grandparents, and their daughter was on a sleepover at a friends house across town. Ray and Deborah had invited Robert and Amy over for dinner, where she was glad to play hostess without her mother-in-law critiquing every move.

As Deborah was serving up some chocolate cake for dessert, the guys were reminiscing about some of their old days back in high school. They brought up a couple of their old girlfriends, and some of their awkward dates. Of course Ray mentioned the time he ***** on Robert with Gina DePino, the class flirt.

“Ah yes! Gina DePino!” Robert stammered, as he was visualizing the busty brunette. “Or as we used to call her, VaGina.” They snickered to themselves over their immature name calling.

The girls cringed as they listened to the guys talk about their sexual conquests. The brothers didn’t take the hint, and continued to ramble on about their shenanigans.

Raymond relived the spying episode as if it were yesterday. “That was the first time I ever saw boobies! They were awesome! Even if I was watching from your bedroom closet.”

“You were in the closet spying on them! Deborah scolded, with a hint of disgust in her tone. “It’s so nice to know I married a pervert.”

Robert couldn’t resist a chance to chime in and embarrass his brother. “I always wondered why my closet was littered with old crusty tissues.”

Again the girls shook their heads in disgust. This time Amy had had enough. She called the guys a couple of pigs before storming out. “And we don’t wanna hear about how you did Gina DePino in the butt! I’ll be in the car!”

Robert and Raymond just looked at each other dumbfounded at Amy’s revelation.

“YOU TOLD HER?!” Raymond screamed at his brother for telling his fiancée about the dirty deed. “Why would you tell her that?”

As Robert sat there in silence, Deborah just threw her hands up in the air in disbelief. She was staring daggers at her husband before letting him have it.

“We can’t even have an enjoyable dinner together without you bringing up a story of whacking off in a closet while watching your brother buttfuck the school whore. Nice, Ray. Real nice.”

Deborah just rolled her eyes at the two sulking guys, before heading upstairs. “Real nice.”

“I can’t believe you told Amy!” Ray said, under his breath, trying to get the last word in. “There’s certain things that are better left unsaid.”

Robert just stood up and moped toward the door, whimpering about how he was going to make it right with his girlfriend.

Raymond went upstairs to apologize to Deborah, hoping that if he was sincere, he might get lucky. All the talk about “VaGina” had got him excited. As he joined his wife in bed, he gave a half-hearted apology, saying he didn’t mean to bring up any past girlfriends.

”Gina DePino has got nothing on you!”


Raymond massaged Deborah’s smooth tanned thigh, trying to get a response from his wife, who was giving him the silent treatment. His attempts at making up weren’t going very well. Apologies weren’t really his strong point.

”You know I’d much rather be stroking myself watching you.” He ran his large hands down Deborah’s legs and back, making sure to pet her gorgeous round ass.

”I’m the luckiest guy in the world. I have a beautiful wife that has the nicest ass on the block. Gina DePino only wishes she could have an ass like yours.”

Raymond’s flattery was beginning to actually take affect. Deborah arched her back, flaunting her butt in front of her husband, who continued to caress it. Apparently Deborah was in the mood too. Why else would she have put on her sexy black nightie, something usually reserved for special occasions.

Deborah finally gave up on the silent treatment, having a change of heart. Ray’s tender massage seemed to be doing the trick. She rolled over, asking about their infamous night with Gina DePino.

”I never knew you were a voyeur. Did you really watch him from the closet?”

Ray was happy that Deborah decided to talk to him, maybe there was a possibility of some nookie after all. However, he didn’t like being busted for jerking off in the closet. He figured he’d let it all out in the open.

”I hid in his closet a bunch of times. I watched Robert and several of his girlfriends. It was something I looked forward to every Saturday night!”

Deborah was somehow intrigued by this little secret, no matter how perverted it was. Raymond couldn’t believe that she wasn’t chewing him out for being so naughty.

”But did you actually play with yourself, or did you just watch?”

Raymond didn’t exactly know how to respond. He knew that he must have jerked off at least a dozen times while hiding in the closet. Raymond wasn’t k**ding about the tissues either. He was hesitant to let his wife know what a pervert he was. He swallowed his pride and told the truth, figuring as long as Deborah seemed interested, why lie any more than he had to.

”I jacked off every time” Raymond confessed, still twirling his finger over his wife’s luscious body. “The night Robby fucked VaGina, I made a huge mess. That was the first time I got caught. She wasn’t too happy.”

”Really?” Deborah asked, not quite believing his story. “And what did Robert have to say about you spying on him?”

”Oh he loved it! It was actually his idea. He liked performing.”

Deborah just shook her head at Raymond.

“Did it stop in high school, or do you still spy on him and Amy?”

Raymond should have seen this trap coming, he knew he was going to get in trouble somehow.

”Absolutely Not!” he replied emphatically. “I haven’t done anything like that in years! You know I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize our marriage. I’ve been true to you since our wedding day.”

Deborah reached out and put her hand on Raymond’s bare shoulder, comforting him.

”Relax Honey! I just wanted to know if you still have fantasies about watching.”

Raymond began to perk up, realizing that Deborah was more than just a little interested in his voyeur history. He ran his hands up her smooth body, pulling her in tightly and giving his wife a long passionate kiss. Deborah responded with enthusiasm as well, taking advantage of their night alone without the k**s.

Deborah sat up and traced her finger over Raymond’s face, teasing her sex-starved hubby. She had her own kinky little sex game in mind.

”So you really like to watch?” she said seductively while running her hands across his bare chest. “Do you want to watch me? Will you jerk off watching me?”

Raymond couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Deborah had never hinted at anything like this before. He wasn’t about to let the opportunity for some fun pass him by. The lovely brunette flashed a devilish smile as she grabbed a box of Kleenex off the nightstand and offered it to him, pointing to a chair across the room.

The horny husband took the box and let out a huge grin at their kinky bedroom games. He obediently took a seat across the room, waiting for Deborah to put on a show for him.


Deborah didn’t waste any time, and wasn’t shy about showing off her tight body. Ray was right, she really did have the best ass on the block. The frustrated housewife was letting go a lot of pent up energy as she put on a show for her husband. Raymond quietly watched with his dick in his hand, while Deborah wiggled her tushy for him.

”Did Gina like to do this?” she teased, while reaching back and gently fingering her tight asshole.

Raymond almost blew his load right there. Anal was a taboo subject in the Barone house. It has always been off limits. His cock was throbbing at the mere thought of fucking his wife’s beautiful butt for the first time. Deborah kept teasing and pleasuring herself. She poked her finger inside, giving Raymond a nice view of her anal play. She knew it was driving him crazy.

”Did Robert ever do any ass licking?” she asked with a sly smile. “Would you lick my ass for me, Ray?”

A small drop of pre-cum emerged from Raymond’s swollen cock as he watched his wife tease him with her gorgeous ass. He licked his lips at the idea of tonguing her once forbidden backdoor. He slowly stood up and walked, with his hand on his cock, over to the edge of the bed.

Deborah got up on her hands and knees, shaking her ass for him once more.

”I’m a dirty ***********. Be a big strong man and squeeze my butt and lick this dirty girl’s dirty hole.

Raymond could barely contain himself. He knelt on the floor and cupped Deborah’s luscious butt cheeks and buried his tongue into her virgin asshole. The sexy brunette squealed with delight at this taboo sex act. She loved the feeling of his slick tongue probing in and around her sensitive brown hole. She clawed the bed sheets, screaming as the kinky new thrill was driving her crazy. She wanted more.

”Fuck my ass, Ray. I’ve been a dirty girl. Please fuck my ass!”

Raymond stood up and stroked his rock hard cock several times, lubing it up with his own pre-cum. He couldn’t believe he was finally getting some of Deborah’s forbidden fruit. He clumsily leaned ahead, worried that his big cock wouldn’t fit in such a tiny hole. His wife was getting restless.

”Fuck my ass, Ray! Stick your big cock in my naughty hole!

Raymond pressed the head of his cock up against his wife’s quivering anus, causing her to flinch. He regained his bearings and tried to insert it again. Deborah let out another high pitched squeal as the idea of going through with this.

”Do it Ray! Fuck my tight asshole!”

Raymond was all set to achieve his goal of buttfucking his wife, when he was startled by something behind him.

”Raymond how could you?!”