The Evolution of an addict.

I started looking at Playboy and Penthouse when I was 3. Somebody I knew who was older would obtain them and didn't want to look at them alone. He was 7. Can't remember what i felt at that age just that I never turned down looking at them when I was asked to. I would hump as I got a little older. I would hump my pillow and wasn't too shy about anyone knowing I did it. Anything too old for me involving attractive females obsessed me. The Whip It video by Devo entranced me. I would hump my pillow thinking of the song Let My Love Open The Door envisioning a music video where sexy women in leather thong bikinis with high heels would gyrate and when the chorus would play they would shake and spread their ass cheeks in synch. At about 11 I went through the VHS tapes below the TV and put in one that wasnt labeled. Vividly I remember the blowjob scene. It kind of made me sick and I shut it off immediately. 5 minutes later I put it back on and was humping watching it. Every time my parents would leave I'd sneak my Dad's 5 tape porn collection and hump. I'd end up humping and not jerking for a long time. I'd spurt between my legs thicker and more numerous ropes of cum than I ever have jerking. My brother went on to work at a video store. He was also a source of porn being older and perverted. Now that he worked at a video store he would have more porn that I could sneak. I would be ata place where I could go and sit in the video store with him while he closed. While he was in another room I'd "borrow" some porn from the shelf. It felt great to actually pick out the movie I wanted. I would later return them in the drop slot after taping them. The next part was taking my brother's ID. He was 5 years older and didn't look like me but I had to try. It worked. I would walk to video stores after staking them out for a porn section. some places knew the ID wasn't me but I was persistent. I was hooked and wasn't going to give up on the treasures they had in that little part of the store. If they would deny me I'd ask what else I needed to prove myself. I would walk home, sneak whatever proof they needed and come right back. I would spend about an hour in the porn section. Looking at every box. Trying to find the perfect ones to rent. Ones that had the most actresses I liked along with the males i knew would give a good show. Peter North was a big selling point for me. My first obsession was facials, so Peter was someone who might "accidentally" hit a girl in the face with his cum, or if it was supposed to end in a facial it would be a good one. The employees would obviously think I'm fucked up but I didn't care. I couldn't have stopped myself anyway. Even though I was in there over and over I'd still search and search. They also didn't put new porn in a recent release section so you had to just discover if any of the movies were new. My brother would have a lot of cash hanging around his room that he did not keep track of, won't get into it, but this allowed me the resources to walk from video store to video sore renting when i wanted. In the summer I'd come home after a long day of video hunting with 9 to 12 videos. I would rent 1 regular video and 3 porn. This was what everyone would do. Renting the one normal movie was to show that you didn't come in there to just rent porn. The ruse didn't work but we'd do it anyway. Renting porn at this time was to be looked down upon. Even the first video store that just rented porn. The owner and employees would look at you like you were beneath them. They would throw out once in a while the remark that "they don't watch porn". So you own a porn store but don't ever watch porn? So you work in a store that rents hundreds of porn videos but you don't watch porn? I remember when the porn industry graduated to having girl's swallow. Always loved facials and swallowing but swallowing was as rare in a video as finding money in the street. It started intensely with the Gangbang Girl series. I would walk miles to the porn shop to buy the new edition when it came out. I'd buy AVN magazine to see when the new one was likely to come out. I'd call the video stores asking if the new one came out yet, feeling embarrassed but compelled to do so. When Rodney Moore came out with the first I Swallow video I saw it advertised in AVN. I'd go to the store but it was always rented out. I'd call and call to see if it was in, shamefully having to ask if "I Swallow" was in. I rented so much that every time I get on here looking to watch porn from the 80's to about 2005 I can't find a video I haven't seen. I have bins full of copied porn. Not just full movies or scenes either. I would copy sections of a porn scene and make compilations. Usually only facial and swallow scenes would make it and even then only the best bits of the scene leading up to the climax. So I have about fifty 6 to 8 hour tapes with bits of those scenes. For instance Peter North's Swallow This series. If the beginning had a tease of a girl I really like I'd copy the tease, transition into any particular arousing bits like her saying somehting nasty while sucking or deepthroating, then go to the last minute of sucking leading into the pop and swallow. I tried to burn them onto dvd's but it never would work properly. Not like I could've taken them to a professional to burn them for me. Anyway, a turning point was when a local video store owner turned his video store into a porn store and then opened 2 more porn rental only stores. I would go in and rent 4 at a time every few days. Sometimes renting 4 at one store and going to another and renting 4 more there. Then websites that let you rent and delivered them through the mail came. This was great. It eliminated the porn warlord who made shit loads of money off people he had disdain for, as well as making renting porn anonymous and having a huge selection. I loved when his world crumbled and I got those blue envelopes in the mail. The only problem was that with DVD's I couldn't copy them like I had been. I could copy the whole DVD onto a VHS but doing compilations with the best bits was out. I had to take the copied movie and then copy the best bits to another VHS. This was tedious and I saw that soon VHS would be out anyway. So the compilations were out sadly. After that online porn was born and that evolved quickly where it's all at your fingertips. I still wish making compilations was easy and I could just watch the movie while jerking, hit record for the good bits. Now I have terabytes of porn. Still wish i could have all the porn in my bins on my computer. I hunt down some stuff like the Gangbang girl, Down the Hatch, and Baker's Dozen movies, but to store all that I want would take hundreds and hundreds more terabytes than I already have. So that's just a little insight in the evolution of a chronic masturbater/porn addict/sex addict.

Notes/Additions:
Someone had a caption pic that mentioned feeling like a k** again at Christmas when mentioning how porn addicts feel about porn. I can relate so much. I remember getting older and Christmas not being about toys anymore. It didn't have the same feel. Going into the porn section of video stores was like Christmas, I was a k** in a candy store. My mind would wander fantasizing about what the scenes in the movies i saw on the wall could be. I would scrutinize every box looking for the perfect ones wishing I could take them all. As I mentioned before it was awful when the rom was right near the counter and the employees could notice how long i was in there. When it wasn't I could spend over an hour perusing the boxes. Coming home with 10 or so porn movies my mind racing, every thought focused on the pleasure that await the next hours was like Christmas as a c***d.