My story about deepthroating huge cocks
In May 2019, I found this new way of living my passionate fantasies about big, beautiful cocks being worshipped and taken balls deep into sexy looking females’ throats, to then have the huge cocks shoot their wet, glistening cum all over the females’ tongues, lips, mouths, faces, and bodies. Those were my absolute favorite things to watch in the millions of porn videos I had collected over the years ever since puberty…
When my ”madness” started in 2019, I was already used to lucid dreaming where I know I'm dreaming, but unlike regular dreams, I can do ”anything I want” in them, much like when being awake. In the same way… one day, I opened myself to the possibility that lucid dreaming also could go in the other direction, from a waking state. These fantasies of mine could then be lived out, from my awake mind into lucidly dreaming, but now dreaming about physical things like (fake) cocks and cum. I attached a few dildos to a table in a vice… and automatically, without thinking, I just had my way with them in my own mouth and down my throat! Using a mirror and the phone filming the whole thing, I not only loved to watch them plunge into my throat, I also wanted to actually feel what it is like to plunge them deep down into my throat! I was stunned as a big one went down my throat almost by itself, without thinking, and without practice. There was only infinite and uncontrollable Lust and Passion that drew me in. I did not ”stop and think about it”, I just kept going, overwhelmed by the sensation in my whole body, and the feeling in my being. I knew from many years of very good hetero sex what it feels like to have my own cock deepthroated – but I now found that I also wanted and had the capacity to feel what it is like to deepthroat a cock. I was blown away, as it felt like both cock and throat merged together, or rather that there was no difference, no separation between experiencing both cock and throat. It was all one experience, one intensely sexual thing. In this experience, I became both the penetrator and the penetrated in that same moment, I became both cock and throat, both the Masculine and the Feminine – BeingBoth – at the same time! Exactly this ”feeling”, or rather experience, is what I now enter into every time, whether I film it or not. The experience is ”enhanced”, or becomes more intense when I remove distracting elements in the frame (like electrical cords and household items), and when I add more ”feminine” things in the frame (like makeup, sexy clothes and lingerie). The content in the videos simply becomes focused on and expresses what I experience – that I am BeingBoth the masculine and the feminine at the same time – both when I film it, and when I watch it later.
Also, when there is some struggle to deepthroat a bigger cock, stretching my throat to squeeze a massive cock all the way down, that ”threshold” makes for a larger experience for me.
And then the cum! When the merging of cock and throat is complete, the celebration of it is analogous to the opening of a bottle of champagne – the squirting, showering, warm cum becomes the outward visual splendor that represents the deep internal union. Such an honor and affirmation for me to receive, such a joyful celebration to have the cum paint my face with unique and irreproducible patterns when the stringy cum lands, signifying our winding journey together, the myriads of paths that Lust has taken us on, now consummated and crowned in glistening pearl necklaces of cum.
I am so glad that I filmed my first day of deepthroating big dildos while I was experiencing BeingBoth, because watching the videos myself afterward in a sense confirmed what I had just experienced. This was so wonderful that I continued filming like this for about a year without publishing anywhere, as the videos were for my own pleasure only. Publishing a year later was just a fun experiment, to see how it would be received by others, the ”audience”. A few years later, exhausted after a film session, I desired so deeply to be filled up even more with cock – and again without thinking, I simply sat down on the already cum-soaked dildo and started fucking it with my ”pussy". Oh, how it satiated my desire to be filled up! And now I could also experience what it is like to be fucked – and BeingBoth expanded! From then on, my exploration of anal sex and the unique and mysterious prostate orgasm – which I knew nothing about until I had one myself! – has been part of my videos.
In every video after publishing the first one, I kept trying to enhance the visual representation of what happens in my being, expressing through video what this experience is like. My innermost wish is that you can allow yourself to be immersed in this Cock, Throat and Cum Art, so that you, too, can become one in this experience.
*******
Many have asked me ”Don't you have a gag reflex?”
Yes, I do, and it’s very noticeable, for example when I brush my tongue after brushing my teeth. But when I deepthroat cock, that reflex is so far in the background of the Lust and Desire for cock that I feel. And that’s the only ”secret” in how I do it, and so many times, just feeling the cock way down in my throat actually produces a throatgasm! (Go ahead, google that phenomenon – it's a real thing!)
If you want to deepthroat cock effortlessly, my advice is to let yourself be so lost in Lust for devouring cock, that you won’t even worry about or even feel the gag reflex. Let the experience be what takes you over completely, and afterward, you will wonder why you asked for my advice ;)
When my ”madness” started in 2019, I was already used to lucid dreaming where I know I'm dreaming, but unlike regular dreams, I can do ”anything I want” in them, much like when being awake. In the same way… one day, I opened myself to the possibility that lucid dreaming also could go in the other direction, from a waking state. These fantasies of mine could then be lived out, from my awake mind into lucidly dreaming, but now dreaming about physical things like (fake) cocks and cum. I attached a few dildos to a table in a vice… and automatically, without thinking, I just had my way with them in my own mouth and down my throat! Using a mirror and the phone filming the whole thing, I not only loved to watch them plunge into my throat, I also wanted to actually feel what it is like to plunge them deep down into my throat! I was stunned as a big one went down my throat almost by itself, without thinking, and without practice. There was only infinite and uncontrollable Lust and Passion that drew me in. I did not ”stop and think about it”, I just kept going, overwhelmed by the sensation in my whole body, and the feeling in my being. I knew from many years of very good hetero sex what it feels like to have my own cock deepthroated – but I now found that I also wanted and had the capacity to feel what it is like to deepthroat a cock. I was blown away, as it felt like both cock and throat merged together, or rather that there was no difference, no separation between experiencing both cock and throat. It was all one experience, one intensely sexual thing. In this experience, I became both the penetrator and the penetrated in that same moment, I became both cock and throat, both the Masculine and the Feminine – BeingBoth – at the same time! Exactly this ”feeling”, or rather experience, is what I now enter into every time, whether I film it or not. The experience is ”enhanced”, or becomes more intense when I remove distracting elements in the frame (like electrical cords and household items), and when I add more ”feminine” things in the frame (like makeup, sexy clothes and lingerie). The content in the videos simply becomes focused on and expresses what I experience – that I am BeingBoth the masculine and the feminine at the same time – both when I film it, and when I watch it later.
Also, when there is some struggle to deepthroat a bigger cock, stretching my throat to squeeze a massive cock all the way down, that ”threshold” makes for a larger experience for me.
And then the cum! When the merging of cock and throat is complete, the celebration of it is analogous to the opening of a bottle of champagne – the squirting, showering, warm cum becomes the outward visual splendor that represents the deep internal union. Such an honor and affirmation for me to receive, such a joyful celebration to have the cum paint my face with unique and irreproducible patterns when the stringy cum lands, signifying our winding journey together, the myriads of paths that Lust has taken us on, now consummated and crowned in glistening pearl necklaces of cum.
I am so glad that I filmed my first day of deepthroating big dildos while I was experiencing BeingBoth, because watching the videos myself afterward in a sense confirmed what I had just experienced. This was so wonderful that I continued filming like this for about a year without publishing anywhere, as the videos were for my own pleasure only. Publishing a year later was just a fun experiment, to see how it would be received by others, the ”audience”. A few years later, exhausted after a film session, I desired so deeply to be filled up even more with cock – and again without thinking, I simply sat down on the already cum-soaked dildo and started fucking it with my ”pussy". Oh, how it satiated my desire to be filled up! And now I could also experience what it is like to be fucked – and BeingBoth expanded! From then on, my exploration of anal sex and the unique and mysterious prostate orgasm – which I knew nothing about until I had one myself! – has been part of my videos.
In every video after publishing the first one, I kept trying to enhance the visual representation of what happens in my being, expressing through video what this experience is like. My innermost wish is that you can allow yourself to be immersed in this Cock, Throat and Cum Art, so that you, too, can become one in this experience.
*******
Many have asked me ”Don't you have a gag reflex?”
Yes, I do, and it’s very noticeable, for example when I brush my tongue after brushing my teeth. But when I deepthroat cock, that reflex is so far in the background of the Lust and Desire for cock that I feel. And that’s the only ”secret” in how I do it, and so many times, just feeling the cock way down in my throat actually produces a throatgasm! (Go ahead, google that phenomenon – it's a real thing!)
If you want to deepthroat cock effortlessly, my advice is to let yourself be so lost in Lust for devouring cock, that you won’t even worry about or even feel the gag reflex. Let the experience be what takes you over completely, and afterward, you will wonder why you asked for my advice ;)
4年前
