It's been a long time

I've been a member for several years, but this is my first post. My husband and I have watched, masturbated and had sex watching videos on here many times, but last year we were watching IR videos and I couldn't help but imagine myself in those videos have sex with the black guy in the video. For a while I fought the urge to watch the videos, but after a while I began watching IR porn on my own, masturbating to it, and I summed so hard, much harder than I had masturbating with other porn. Now I imagine myself sleeping with black men, and when I'm out I find myself checking out black guys and wondering if they'd want to make it with me? Part of me is concerned that they'd actually hit on me because if so I don't know if I'd say no?

Have other's had this type of experience? Am I wrong or should I just let myself see how I progress? I feel guilty, but also intrigued.

Thanks for reading and for leaving considered opinions and advice.