Enjoying Anal
I love anal sex, but I know plenty of people just don’t like it or aren’t interested in it.
That’s fine and totally understandable — I went through a period in my marriage when I really didn’t care to do it, and I was perfectly comfortable with that decision.
But a lot of people are somewhere in between. They’re curious about anal but want to approach it the right way. They fantasize about it and want the reality to live up to it. Or they’ve taken it in the ass before and didn’t enjoy it, but want to give it another chance.
There are better and worse ways to do anal. And bad anal sex isn’t like bad sex — it’s in another category altogether. So, it’s important to approach it the right way.
I know that from personal experience. Having my ass fucked feels amazing, but I came really close to swearing off anal completely.
My first times doing anal were the absolute worst. I thought my boyfriend and I were doing everything right — I agreed to do it, we used lube — but it only resulted in discomfort and pain. It made me dread ever doing it again.
I changed my mind when I met the man I would eventually marry. I trusted him like I had never trusted anyone else before. I lusted after him when he wasn’t around and couldn’t keep my hands and lips off him when he was.
After a few months of amazing sex, I kept coming back to the same fantasy: I wanted his cock in my ass.
I only had terrible anal experiences up to that point, but he made me feel so damn safe. I knew I could try anything with him and it would be as good as it could be. I knew with complete certainty he would never go further than I wanted it to.
And I also knew that as much as he was turned on by the thought of fucking me in the ass, he would be turned off by me being in any kind of pain. It went extremely well. Feeling his cock inside my ass was an entirely new sensation. This time, it was gentle, loving, tender, and so goddamn pleasurable. He fucked me slowly and I was overwhelmed with excitement that anal could be as hot as I thought it was — hotter, even.
We were young and stupid, so we committed an anal faux-pas or two. The only lube we used was spit and we didn’t talk about it beforehand — I just pressed my ass against his cock until he got the picture. But somehow it worked. It felt right. It gave me an orgasm. And instead of ending up sore and disappointed, I felt tingly with affection and couldn’t wait to do it again.
There’s some physical preparation that goes into anal sex, but there’s a ton of mental and emotional preparation.
It works best (and feels best) when you not only want anal sex but truly desire it. Feeling curious about it is a good start, but biting your lip at the thought of your ass getting fucked is better.
Talking about it with Mr. Black also helped me get there. It made me feel safe and at ease knowing that he knew exactly what I wanted and what I didn’t. Having him tell me what he would like to do with my ass, describing in detail how he would touch, lick, and slowly penetrate my asshole, made me wet and desperate to do it. Trust matters a lot, too. It’s hard to be emotionally ready for anal unless you can establish boundaries and know that your partner will respect them (without whining, complaining, or trying to get you to compromise).
One way to set boundaries is to decide exactly what you want to do. Instead of telling your partner you want to try anal, try easing into it by saying something like “Tonight, I’d like you to play with my asshole but no penetration” or “I just want to try a finger for now, and if I like it, maybe we could try with your cock another day.” If you can trust your partner not to violate those rules, it will make things more predictable and make you a lot more comfortable, a lot less nervous, and a lot less worried.
Lube Is Essential
Your ass isn’t self-lubricating, and inserting anything into it dry is not going to be a pleasant experience.
You need lube. And even though I powered through it once, spit really doesn’t cut it. Even if you can get through it with spit, it will feel twice as good with proper lubrication.
Start Small
Your goal might be to get a cock or a dildo in your ass, but that’s not the best place to start.
If you’re not used to anal sex (and frankly, even if you are), you will probably need to build up to it with something less girthy. A finger or a slim butt plug is a good first move. Once you can comfortably enjoy the sensation of a finger in your ass, you can take something thicker.
Having Anal Sex Doesn’t Mean Doing Anal Only
I love anal sex but I always combine it with other kinds of stimulation. When Mr. Black is fingering my ass, he’s usually licking my clit at the same time. On some occasions, he’ll give me the full trifecta: mouth on my clit, two fingers in my pussy, and one in my ass.
When I’m getting my ass fucked, I make sure I’m getting clitoral stimulation at the same time. Depending on the position I’m in and how easy it is to get to my clit, I’m either using a vibrator, my fingers, or enjoying Mr. Black’s fingers.
I go for that extra stimulation in part because it always leads to a blended orgasm. I get off seriously well when I’m getting anal and clitoral stimulation at the same time.
Have an Orgasm First
I find it helps to have an orgasm before moving to anal. It’s a great way to thoroughly relax your body and put you physically at ease for some back door action.
It can also make you a bit more sensitive, which will increase your odds of having an orgasm from anal (your odds go way up if you keep the vaginal or clitoral stimulation going at the same time).
Take Charge of Your Ass
It’s your ass getting fucked, so it’s important for everything to go at your pace. The best way to do this is to push your ass back on your partner’s cock instead of having them ram their cock into you.
If I feel particularly ready, I’ll let Mr. Black ease himself into me. Most of the time, though, Hubby won’t move at all. He’ll lay on his side behind me with the head of his cock pressed up to my asshole and I’ll push back onto it. He waits patiently while I get used to having him inside me and doesn’t take over until I’m ready.
Your ass is going to feel much more relaxed if you’re the one taking care of the motions.
Find the Right Position
Getting in the right position is key. There is definitely an element of personal preference here.
That’s fine and totally understandable — I went through a period in my marriage when I really didn’t care to do it, and I was perfectly comfortable with that decision.
But a lot of people are somewhere in between. They’re curious about anal but want to approach it the right way. They fantasize about it and want the reality to live up to it. Or they’ve taken it in the ass before and didn’t enjoy it, but want to give it another chance.
There are better and worse ways to do anal. And bad anal sex isn’t like bad sex — it’s in another category altogether. So, it’s important to approach it the right way.
I know that from personal experience. Having my ass fucked feels amazing, but I came really close to swearing off anal completely.
My first times doing anal were the absolute worst. I thought my boyfriend and I were doing everything right — I agreed to do it, we used lube — but it only resulted in discomfort and pain. It made me dread ever doing it again.
I changed my mind when I met the man I would eventually marry. I trusted him like I had never trusted anyone else before. I lusted after him when he wasn’t around and couldn’t keep my hands and lips off him when he was.
After a few months of amazing sex, I kept coming back to the same fantasy: I wanted his cock in my ass.
I only had terrible anal experiences up to that point, but he made me feel so damn safe. I knew I could try anything with him and it would be as good as it could be. I knew with complete certainty he would never go further than I wanted it to.
And I also knew that as much as he was turned on by the thought of fucking me in the ass, he would be turned off by me being in any kind of pain. It went extremely well. Feeling his cock inside my ass was an entirely new sensation. This time, it was gentle, loving, tender, and so goddamn pleasurable. He fucked me slowly and I was overwhelmed with excitement that anal could be as hot as I thought it was — hotter, even.
We were young and stupid, so we committed an anal faux-pas or two. The only lube we used was spit and we didn’t talk about it beforehand — I just pressed my ass against his cock until he got the picture. But somehow it worked. It felt right. It gave me an orgasm. And instead of ending up sore and disappointed, I felt tingly with affection and couldn’t wait to do it again.
There’s some physical preparation that goes into anal sex, but there’s a ton of mental and emotional preparation.
It works best (and feels best) when you not only want anal sex but truly desire it. Feeling curious about it is a good start, but biting your lip at the thought of your ass getting fucked is better.
Talking about it with Mr. Black also helped me get there. It made me feel safe and at ease knowing that he knew exactly what I wanted and what I didn’t. Having him tell me what he would like to do with my ass, describing in detail how he would touch, lick, and slowly penetrate my asshole, made me wet and desperate to do it. Trust matters a lot, too. It’s hard to be emotionally ready for anal unless you can establish boundaries and know that your partner will respect them (without whining, complaining, or trying to get you to compromise).
One way to set boundaries is to decide exactly what you want to do. Instead of telling your partner you want to try anal, try easing into it by saying something like “Tonight, I’d like you to play with my asshole but no penetration” or “I just want to try a finger for now, and if I like it, maybe we could try with your cock another day.” If you can trust your partner not to violate those rules, it will make things more predictable and make you a lot more comfortable, a lot less nervous, and a lot less worried.
Lube Is Essential
Your ass isn’t self-lubricating, and inserting anything into it dry is not going to be a pleasant experience.
You need lube. And even though I powered through it once, spit really doesn’t cut it. Even if you can get through it with spit, it will feel twice as good with proper lubrication.
Start Small
Your goal might be to get a cock or a dildo in your ass, but that’s not the best place to start.
If you’re not used to anal sex (and frankly, even if you are), you will probably need to build up to it with something less girthy. A finger or a slim butt plug is a good first move. Once you can comfortably enjoy the sensation of a finger in your ass, you can take something thicker.
Having Anal Sex Doesn’t Mean Doing Anal Only
I love anal sex but I always combine it with other kinds of stimulation. When Mr. Black is fingering my ass, he’s usually licking my clit at the same time. On some occasions, he’ll give me the full trifecta: mouth on my clit, two fingers in my pussy, and one in my ass.
When I’m getting my ass fucked, I make sure I’m getting clitoral stimulation at the same time. Depending on the position I’m in and how easy it is to get to my clit, I’m either using a vibrator, my fingers, or enjoying Mr. Black’s fingers.
I go for that extra stimulation in part because it always leads to a blended orgasm. I get off seriously well when I’m getting anal and clitoral stimulation at the same time.
Have an Orgasm First
I find it helps to have an orgasm before moving to anal. It’s a great way to thoroughly relax your body and put you physically at ease for some back door action.
It can also make you a bit more sensitive, which will increase your odds of having an orgasm from anal (your odds go way up if you keep the vaginal or clitoral stimulation going at the same time).
Take Charge of Your Ass
It’s your ass getting fucked, so it’s important for everything to go at your pace. The best way to do this is to push your ass back on your partner’s cock instead of having them ram their cock into you.
If I feel particularly ready, I’ll let Mr. Black ease himself into me. Most of the time, though, Hubby won’t move at all. He’ll lay on his side behind me with the head of his cock pressed up to my asshole and I’ll push back onto it. He waits patiently while I get used to having him inside me and doesn’t take over until I’m ready.
Your ass is going to feel much more relaxed if you’re the one taking care of the motions.
Find the Right Position
Getting in the right position is key. There is definitely an element of personal preference here.
4年前
