A life course (6)
6. A Different View of Women
After another mutation, this time to the Corps troops but still in the metropolis of Cologne... and another failed relationship, something in me changed.
In the meantime women had joined the army, in the lower ranks of course, but still... suddenly I was surrounded by women day and night... by Germans at night, by Belgians during the day and accidentally by Americans (there were also some US troops in Cologne).
We were now halfway through the 1970s and dealing with German women was no longer perceived as problematic, after all, they had been loyal allies for years and no longer enemies.
The problems now came with the Belgian female soldiers. One had to deal with one's own rank and position... relations with subordinates were even explicitly forbidden by the disciplinary rules... me too... avant la lettre. But try to get young women and young men to respect those regulations... the officers didn't act against the NCOs who violated it and finally gave in to the raging hormones... so did I.
Now it is not the case that I was hunting them, rather the other way around, after all I was a desirable bachelor, a risk-free prey because I did not have a woman, whether or not jealous...but I did have the reputation of being a womanizer.
Completely wrong by the way. Well, I wanted to fuck, as much as possible, but I was also really looking for a permanent relationship... playing the bon-vivant every night until the early hours and working during the day is damn tiring after all.
At the same time, my attitude towards women also changed, they were no longer the precious commodity that had to be treated politely but prey, just as I was prey for them. So sex for the sex, not the relationship, I don't even remember the name of most of them... but that sex wasn't really good. I was missing something and along the way I discovered my deviation. I wasn't gay, I wasn't straight... I was a sado-masochist.
I had an appointment with a dumb woman in my apartment because, given her husband's rank, she was allowed to enter the officers' quarters and that 'speaks' better in all intimacy; try having a conversation with sign language in a restaurant.
It wasn't going well, I thought. She told me she got hot steam on her breasts in the afternoon while cooking… and yes, they did look painfully red. I could already see my lovemaking go up in smoke when she just insisted on taking a hard look at her breasts while I fucked her doggystyle. She came at least twice before I squirted. 'Mission accomplished' I thought... so no. Do you know what's wrong with you, she said, you also need pain to enjoy yourself, you only want to perform and that will never work.
You squeeze my breasts, stretch them, press my nipples to mush and I knead your balls to mush... let's see if it doesn't get better... and yes, it got more fun... so cumbersome her sign language explanation was, so cumbersome was the additional play...her tits no longer looked red but all the colors of the rainbow and my balls felt like they had been put through the mangle...it lasted and lasted until we both, tears in our eyes from the pain came to orgasm, at the same time but that didn't matter for a while... after about fifteen minutes of blackout she motioned me to lick the cum she hadn't been able to swallow; idiot, I didn't have the courage and limited myself to licking her breasts. But neither of us had come just like that, no, only when our partner, our temporary sweetheart, judged it useful and necessary.
Not only had the solution of my problem been found and proven, there was also a 'click' in my head... from now on they had to take me as I was... didn't they like that? Just good friends, but keep it to yourself or I'll say you're a whore saying something like that because I turned you down... a 180° turn from a few months ago.
After another mutation, this time to the Corps troops but still in the metropolis of Cologne... and another failed relationship, something in me changed.
In the meantime women had joined the army, in the lower ranks of course, but still... suddenly I was surrounded by women day and night... by Germans at night, by Belgians during the day and accidentally by Americans (there were also some US troops in Cologne).
We were now halfway through the 1970s and dealing with German women was no longer perceived as problematic, after all, they had been loyal allies for years and no longer enemies.
The problems now came with the Belgian female soldiers. One had to deal with one's own rank and position... relations with subordinates were even explicitly forbidden by the disciplinary rules... me too... avant la lettre. But try to get young women and young men to respect those regulations... the officers didn't act against the NCOs who violated it and finally gave in to the raging hormones... so did I.
Now it is not the case that I was hunting them, rather the other way around, after all I was a desirable bachelor, a risk-free prey because I did not have a woman, whether or not jealous...but I did have the reputation of being a womanizer.
Completely wrong by the way. Well, I wanted to fuck, as much as possible, but I was also really looking for a permanent relationship... playing the bon-vivant every night until the early hours and working during the day is damn tiring after all.
At the same time, my attitude towards women also changed, they were no longer the precious commodity that had to be treated politely but prey, just as I was prey for them. So sex for the sex, not the relationship, I don't even remember the name of most of them... but that sex wasn't really good. I was missing something and along the way I discovered my deviation. I wasn't gay, I wasn't straight... I was a sado-masochist.
I had an appointment with a dumb woman in my apartment because, given her husband's rank, she was allowed to enter the officers' quarters and that 'speaks' better in all intimacy; try having a conversation with sign language in a restaurant.
It wasn't going well, I thought. She told me she got hot steam on her breasts in the afternoon while cooking… and yes, they did look painfully red. I could already see my lovemaking go up in smoke when she just insisted on taking a hard look at her breasts while I fucked her doggystyle. She came at least twice before I squirted. 'Mission accomplished' I thought... so no. Do you know what's wrong with you, she said, you also need pain to enjoy yourself, you only want to perform and that will never work.
You squeeze my breasts, stretch them, press my nipples to mush and I knead your balls to mush... let's see if it doesn't get better... and yes, it got more fun... so cumbersome her sign language explanation was, so cumbersome was the additional play...her tits no longer looked red but all the colors of the rainbow and my balls felt like they had been put through the mangle...it lasted and lasted until we both, tears in our eyes from the pain came to orgasm, at the same time but that didn't matter for a while... after about fifteen minutes of blackout she motioned me to lick the cum she hadn't been able to swallow; idiot, I didn't have the courage and limited myself to licking her breasts. But neither of us had come just like that, no, only when our partner, our temporary sweetheart, judged it useful and necessary.
Not only had the solution of my problem been found and proven, there was also a 'click' in my head... from now on they had to take me as I was... didn't they like that? Just good friends, but keep it to yourself or I'll say you're a whore saying something like that because I turned you down... a 180° turn from a few months ago.
4年前
