I'm so inadequate as a man

A really cute woman friend of mine is in town. So attracted to her. Doesn't know I'm such a limp dicked sissy slut. Went out in man mode and told her how beautiful she is... but she just sees me as some lame ass excuse. When am I ever going to learn. Sometimes I forget what a sissy slut I am and women don't see me as some masculine stud. They like me though because of all the respect and dignity i give them. I love women and think they should be treated with the utmost respect. But I know full well that I'm not the masculine stud they want. It's okay. Don't blame them because when I am real with myself and go out as the gurly bitch I am... I see the men they want and I want them too. Big arms, strong hands, tall, big cocks that make my asspussy feel so good. i'm just a skinny, short, black sissy with a bubble butt that loves cock. After all these years, i should know better. I should just start taking hormones and be the woman i am and take all kinds of dick in my mouth and asspussy. Need to stop fooling myself. I'm literally wearing a cute baby doll grinding on a dildo, thinking about the men that would have wanted to fuck me... the men that have fucked me... men who totally didn't recognize me in man mode tonight. It's the only way I have sex... as a cock loving woman. My cock is such an inadequate, tiny clit incapable of pleasing a woman. The only way I please woman is with my tongue because I'm just a bitch. Wishing I dressed and found a guy who wanted to bang my asspussy!