What is happening with me right now?

I am on a discovery.
The discovery is about
all the fucking that I have done in the past,
and all the fucking that I have watched in porn.
I discovered that I was so fascinated by
what it is like to be fucked
(kind of like ”opposites attract”?).
I thought that I was only this man fucking,
yet all the while, I was so attracted to
watching women be fucked by big cocks,
because I also wanted to feel what it is like
to be the woman being fucked by big cocks,
the woman craving to be filled up by them.
So my discovery is that I feel what it is like
to be fucked by big cocks.
Again, Being Both the fucking and the fucked,
at the same time.

So this is what I am up to now.
This all has been so intense, it has been impossible to film it,
at least for now.