Why I look at Marilyn Monroe as a role model
My life has not been fair, it has been down right nightmarish. Some people look badly on Marilyn Monroe cause of all of her mistakes, nightmare to work with, affairs with married men, a ditzy blonde character men just fawn over. I know my reasons and this is why I look to her as a role model.
She also grew up in a house of abuse - She went to foster parents and her mom went into mental hospitals. She was m*****ed in about every house she grew up in. So much abuse she developed a speech impediment. / I grew up in a house very similar & when I was a k** I had a speech impediment too, so much so I do not wish to talk on any devices or in public keeping my responses down to 2 or 3 words each and usually "I Don't Know" "I Guess" "I'm Ok" "No" "I'm Sorry" "Please Stop"
She never felt loved - She was told she was beautiful but never really believed anyone could love her inside because of all the abuse. / I have been told I am loved, I am beautiful but everyone who wants to use people say the exact thing, it is called lowering a persons defenses, When I hear "You're beautiful, You're smart, You're special, it does not make me feel better it only makes us feel worse. There is a wall being built when I hear that, I know I am beautiful, smart & special but use those words very sparingly cause the more the word is said it more it loses it's meaning
She took care of others before herself - She tried to take care of her mother, promised to visit a club just to make them hire someone else. / I have put my family first before my own self to a point that if my death would make them happy I would have done it. I have stayed with my family & listening to a dysfunctional family break and expect me to fix it, being a social pariah and bullied, stuck it out through days where the pain was so bad suicide seemed welcoming. Drawing happy pictures of me and Death on vacation in Hawaii while a volcano erupts, watching the chaos ensue.
She was so superficial - She was not entirely superficial, she loved to read and held fast to her beliefs even if they was unpopular, she never wanted to be a pop-culture icon. She desired to pretend her problems away cause acting was a way of life and her way to cope with a sad life. / I relate with how I want to run away from the problems and pretend they are not there, get so absorbed with something that it is all that remains. Lying is not malicious but survival, Dissociative Identity Disorder is just that. To the world it is lying but to that person it is their personal truths
My life was a nightmare that no one needs to learn about, but understand I know what people say she is not worthy of being a role model. She was a struggling person of abuse and neglect who NEVER took her problems out on the WORLD. THAT is why she is my role model.
- Suffering in quiet from her birth to her death -
She also grew up in a house of abuse - She went to foster parents and her mom went into mental hospitals. She was m*****ed in about every house she grew up in. So much abuse she developed a speech impediment. / I grew up in a house very similar & when I was a k** I had a speech impediment too, so much so I do not wish to talk on any devices or in public keeping my responses down to 2 or 3 words each and usually "I Don't Know" "I Guess" "I'm Ok" "No" "I'm Sorry" "Please Stop"
She never felt loved - She was told she was beautiful but never really believed anyone could love her inside because of all the abuse. / I have been told I am loved, I am beautiful but everyone who wants to use people say the exact thing, it is called lowering a persons defenses, When I hear "You're beautiful, You're smart, You're special, it does not make me feel better it only makes us feel worse. There is a wall being built when I hear that, I know I am beautiful, smart & special but use those words very sparingly cause the more the word is said it more it loses it's meaning
She took care of others before herself - She tried to take care of her mother, promised to visit a club just to make them hire someone else. / I have put my family first before my own self to a point that if my death would make them happy I would have done it. I have stayed with my family & listening to a dysfunctional family break and expect me to fix it, being a social pariah and bullied, stuck it out through days where the pain was so bad suicide seemed welcoming. Drawing happy pictures of me and Death on vacation in Hawaii while a volcano erupts, watching the chaos ensue.
She was so superficial - She was not entirely superficial, she loved to read and held fast to her beliefs even if they was unpopular, she never wanted to be a pop-culture icon. She desired to pretend her problems away cause acting was a way of life and her way to cope with a sad life. / I relate with how I want to run away from the problems and pretend they are not there, get so absorbed with something that it is all that remains. Lying is not malicious but survival, Dissociative Identity Disorder is just that. To the world it is lying but to that person it is their personal truths
My life was a nightmare that no one needs to learn about, but understand I know what people say she is not worthy of being a role model. She was a struggling person of abuse and neglect who NEVER took her problems out on the WORLD. THAT is why she is my role model.
- Suffering in quiet from her birth to her death -
6年前
