Putting It Out There

I wanted to sit down and write this. See , I'm a bit sad, and thought I'd put my feelings out there for others advice, and compassion. I am 61 years old and since my early twenties I have been turned on by the look and feel of a beautiful penis! I don't consider myself gay, or even bi sexual. Even though I have been a skirt and panty chaser for many years, and have been married now over 25 years. Thing is, I started out in adult public movie theaters, porn shop booths, glory holes here and there...but that was then and it was a tad bit safer then today. Back then IT TRUELY ABOUT THE SEX. Now days you can lose your life to some nut, when all you wanted was some good man to man sex! Over the past 35 years or so, I have been with maybe 10-12 different men, mostly older married more mature men, and I have had steady relationships with a couple of them lasting up to 3 years or so. So you could say all my experence with men is "HANDS ON " ! Where I'm going with this if your still reading is she is getting ready to retire and all my alone time is going away!!!!! I work from home and she works part time , half day. I have had a couple very nice encounters over the last few years, but NO MORE. She will be on me like white on rice ! She dosen't have hobbies or girlfriends she hangs with....just me!!!! I don't know about you guys but at my age, my sex drive is OFF THE CHART! I masturbate at least once a day , and know I would do it 3 times a day if the opportunity arose! I'm so horny right now just writing this!! I don't quite know what to do. I know I'll have to sneak masturbating in the shower now......when my routine now is after taking her to work I edge masturbate myself for an hour or so....busting a big nut, that I usually eat all of! And or might just slip my 8" long, 3" girth dildo into my tight ass and fuck for an hour! WHEW!!! Thinking of it makes me so hot!! So....putting it out there...... just what the fuck am I supposed to do...I have less than 30 days before she retires!!!!! Please..........check out my profile for the best of me.......