Haven't done this in a while

Long time no see..
If you haven't been following, or should I say talking to me, it's been a rough year. Last year around this time, it was my biggest downfall and what started the most difficult time of my entire life.
It went even further down until I felt like my whole body got thrown in the gutter, or even worse than that.

I've not only lost someone but a part of myself.
I've not yet recovered and probably will never.
I'm still going thru the motions, acting as if I'm doing good for the people around me. But I'm not, inside my heart, inside my brain...it's a constant storm.
I'm on a rollercoaster that could either end well, to an actual exit...or with me being unalive (I don't know if Xham censors the de*th word).

Yeah..so...
Sorry to post that kind of blog on a website like this but I had to.
Nobody but be will read this anyway, so why should I even care.


Until then, see you my lovelies.