What am I?

I'm trying to figure out where I fit in the whole sex spectrum.

To start with, I know I'm a crossdresser. I love wearing women's clothing. It stared with panties and lingerie and has progressed to bras with forms, dresses and skirts. All my pants, shorts and shirts are women's. If I could wear dresses all the time, I would, but my wife won't let me. So far I haven't done makeup and a wig, but I really want too. After this is where the confusion starts.

I love looking at women. I love the way their bodies look and feel. the problem here is, in addition to liking the way they look, I find myself wishing I had their bodies. I don't want to have a sex change, I like my dick too much, I just want to have boobs and a sexy body. Sexy enough that men would be willing to fuck me even though I have a dick. Which brings me to the real identity issue.

I used to like having sex with women. I still do with my wife, but mostly because she expects it. Part of the problem is I have a hard time getting up, and when I do, I cum pretty quick. I still love pussy, they way it taste and feels, but if I were to never get it again, I don't think I'd mind. Mostly because I feel like a failure when I cum quickly.

I also like cock and cum. I love giving blowjobs more than I like getting them. I also love getting fucked, although that's only happened twice. You might think that makes me gay or bi, but here's where it confusing. I am in no way attracted to guys! I just want their cocks in me. I don't look at them and think, "damn he's hot", like I do with women, but show me a cock and I'll drop to my knees and let them have their way with me.

Since I'm not attracted to guys as a whole, just their cocks, I don't think I'm bi/gay. But I'm not really heterosexual either since I want cock in addition to pussy. I'm not trans, because I don't want to become a woman, I just want to look and dress like one.

so what the hell am I? Besides really fucked up. Lol