Desperate for that feeling

It's now been over 10 years since I've had a blowjob. My wife refuses to do it. I want that feeling again so badly. I want to run my hand through someone's hair and moan while I'm sucked. I want to talk dirty, tell them to suck it hard and fondle my balls while they throat me. I want to rock my hips as I fuck a hot, wet mouth. And then I want to feel them suck the cum out of my cock as I blow my load.