Answering Lovesanalxxx: Living with an Anal Fetish

Yes it is a curse and a blessing. A curse until you meet someone that shares your fetisch with you. I have had a girl that loved it up the ass and would tell me off if I didn’t fuck her ass enough, and she loved to get stretched. She was sub and I do like to switch sometimes, but still it was awesome. Since, I never found a match like that.

So I do guess it is hard to find like minded people, and that is because when you meet someone the sexuality is not something that you put out there right at the beginning. So I do guess it would be easier if we all had a xhamster profile to look at when we meet someone to see what he or her likes before dating. For people with a specific fetish I guess online meeting on specialized sites like Fetlife are the way to go.

Now on the first or second night I will try anal and see how a girl reacts, first licking her ass with my tongue, trying a finger… see how far she goes, but I won’t be pushy about it. Afterwards, we can talk about it.
Of course if it is a negative you have to think about how far the relationship can go. And then there is anal and anal. The casual anal sex from time to time, the anal aficionados, and the hooked that never get enough of it.
I guess discussing it as soon as possible is best to work things out.
I do have a few secret friends with benefits. I am not proud about that, but my actual partner stopped enjoying anal, we went from twice a day anal, and her wearing a butt plug to surprise me, to nearly nothing (no sex)
Another part of my fetish, me subbing from time to time, she had always said she wanted to try (before even me saying anything) but she never did. But then we have a very different way of initiating sex. I like things to just happen, experiment, see where it takes us. She likes to talk it through first. Or she would just say, “I want sex now”. I find that very unromantic and it makes it feel like a planned thing to do. It’s a bit of a turn off. I would prefer if she just grabbed my dick and started sucking it. The message would be as clear.
I don’t think I can tell her, I’d love to buy giant dildos, and stretch your holes until I can fist you. Because I know she doesn't like it too much (we have done vaginal fisting, and even vaginal fist with anal), she has huge orgasms, but it didn’t hook her onto it, and the stretching feeling, between pain and pleasure is not her thing. So anal fist I can forget about it.

I guess I wish I could be in a couple like “in need of the fist” or others. And I guess this would go through online meeting, because we are just so much more open about sex here, but then a couple is not only sex, and the human part is as or even more important.