How Am I Bisexual

I never thought I could be bisexual, perhaps because of the closed culture I was raised in. I was taught that boys should only like girls and vice versa. Many Asian families have a mindset of teaching boys to be tough and emotionally detached, so many men have difficulty expressing and understanding their own feelings. I, on the other hand, pretended to hide my emotions but secretly embraced my sensitive side through artistic performance. Even so, one thing remained for me to confirm: my sexual attraction.

When I went to an all-boys school, the only people we were expected to admire were our female teachers, and I did. I secretly liked my cute, petite Asian teacher. Like the other boys, we played together without much thought to personal boundaries, but I’m sensitive, especially to touch. One day, my best friend came close and stared intently at me. I don't know why I felt incredibly shy. My heart started racing, and he was so close I thought we were going to kiss. It turned out he was just getting something off my face. "What was I thinking? Was I gay? No way!" I immediately started keeping my distance from him, locking my feelings away.

Years later, I went to a gathering with a classmate and felt a different kind of spark. He was the funny guy in class who often joked about sex, but when we met up, he was much more mature than the high school kid I remembered. My heart started beating again. He was so caring; he passed me a napkin while we were having lunch at a cafe. “Gosh, that feeling is back!” I got shy again and asked if he was dating anyone. He said he was single, and I told him that if I were a girl, I would date him. We both laughed a lot. Maybe that was the moment I started to realise I’m bisexual, but seriously, he doesn't know. It’s still a secret, but at least I'm honest with myself now.

So, if I could date anyone, would you date me? ❤️