Cocksucking lessons from a babysitter

It was right around when I was about 12, that my mother made a mistake and hired an older male baby sitter. I don't know how old he was but he belonged to her church so I guess she must have thought he was trustworthy. But I didn't need or want a baby sitter at 12 anyway. I think she got tired of the teenage girl sitters inviting their boyfriends over and she thought he would be more disciplined. He was. And he was the first man I sucked.

From the very beginning I thought this new sitter was friendly and nice to me. I could tell he liked me and was interested in me and that made me feel really good. His smile was open and friendly. He said it was a pleasure meeting me and was looking forward to spending time with me. No sitter had ever told me that before. Shortly after we were introduced and he was given his instructions and a telephone number, my parents left.

He talked a little to get to know me. He told me he has known my mother for a long time from the church but he didn't know she had a daughter. "How old are you?"

"I'm already 12 for crying out loud. I don't know why she thinks I need a sitter."

"Your mom seems a very serious, and strict kind of person."

"Tell me about it!" I say. "She doesn't let me have any fun like the rest of the kids do. I'm not even allowed to wear makeup, or go to sleep overs."

"Maybe she just worries about you."

I measure my next words carefully, not sure how much I should say and if he will tell on me. i look down at the floor and squeak out the words that lie heavy in my heart. "I think she's just mean."

"Oh Paige, that can't be true. Look, she isn't home right now and I'm in charge so if you want to have a little fun or put on some makeup it's ok with me. I won't tell, I promise. Have you heard the expression, 'When the cat's away, the mice will play?'"

"Yeah, I have."

"Ok then. Scoot. Go do something you aren't normally allowed to do. I'll wait here and watch TV while you're gone. Go..Go!! Put on some makeup or something if you want."

The heaviness in my heart evaporates immediately as I race to my mothers dressing table. I open a drawer and find a lipstick tube. It has been used so I memorize exactly where it was in the drawer and carefully apply it to my lips. Next to it is a round compact with some rosy colored rouge. I pat my cheeks and smooth it out. It looks good and I like how it contrasts with my soft blond hair surrounding my face. I go back to the living room to show Dan, that's the sitters name. He looks at me and stands up. "You look absolutely all grown up a beautiful young lady. Wow Miss Paige!"

I beam and grin so big he must think I swallowed a pie plate. I like him even more. I tuck my skirt and plop down on the sofa, curling one leg under my bum sitting on it, the other dangles off the front edge. I look up at him and notice a bulge in his pants that wasn't there before. My eyes stop and stare and I feel my face flush with embarrassment.

"What are you looking at sweetheart?"

He calls me sweetheart but I'm not his girlfriend or anything. "Nothing. I um I..."

"That's Peter in there. He thinks you are a very pretty young girl. He likes you too, just like me."

In spite of myself I snicker and cover my mouth. "Peter?? That's your man thing for peeing. I'm not stupid!"

"You're right but he can do other things you don't know about. I just call him Peter because I like the name."

He sat beside me and we watched TV, played some card games. ate a snack until it was time to get rid of my lipstick and wash my face before my parents came home. I was in bed asleep when they came home after I drifted off to sleep with the image of Peter in Dan's pants dancing through my mind.

The next week was another sitter night. I was upstairs in my room doing some homework on a school play. I didn't come down at first because I was all excited about it. It was something about kids around the world and relationships. When I finished it I wanted to show someone so I called downstairs and asked the sitter if he wanted to come up and have a look at what I was doing. I had my books out and was showing him everything. I was all proud of telling him and he made some comments and seemed really interested.

When I finished explaining everything to him he asked if I want to do something again like last week. He said he had brought me a present.

"Really? What kind of present?" I never got presents except on my birthday and for Christmas so I was excited about that.

"I got you this lipstick so you can have your very own and these earrings. I hope you like the color."

'Fire Engine Red' it read in small letters on the bottom of the tube. "Oh wow. Mom would never let me wear these. And the earrings are so pretty.¨ The earrings are a pair of red clip-ons with 2 inch string dangles and a silver button at the lobe. ¨Thank you so much Dan. You are the best sitter I have ever had."

"I'll put the lipstick on for you, ok?" he said. "I'll be very careful to make you look extra beautiful. And you can clip on your earrings."

"Why are you giving me this stuff? It's not my birthday or anything."

"Because I like you and I want to be your friend like in your school project." He hesitated a moment and added, "And Peter likes you too. He wants to say hello and get to know you." be special friends with him because being special friends keeps you from ever being lonesome. I had been lonesome enough already in my life so of course I said yes. When I looked up from my books he was standing pretty close to me and the zipper of his slacks was level with my eyes. And inside that zipper his thing was making a bulge that I already knew the words for. Words like hard-on, boner, stiffie, erection. I had heard some of the boys at school refer to it as a cannon with wheels. They thought it was funny but I knew what they were talking about because I wasn’t completely stupid.

His hand was at the top of the zipper and he started opening it, dragging it down in slow motion, the little brass teeth unlocking before my eyes like a giant sea monster. The word hard-on was bouncing through my head and I was thinking that he must have heard me thinking it and that it must have been inviting him like a magnet, making him swell up like that inside the cloth of his underpants.

I was thinking all kinds of things by the time the zipper hit the bottom. With the zipper open I could see his white underwear inside his fly and the bulging curve he was making. He asked me if I wanted to see what was in there. I don’t even remember if I answered and it wouldn’t have made any difference. His fingers pulled the edges of his fly apart, opening the fly wider and showing me a smooth bulge. Then he pushed his bum backwards and fished his fingers inside the front of his pants even farther, into the shadow of his shorts.

My breathing started coming short and quick, becoming irregular and somehow I was afraid I might somehow make him mad, and became even more afraid that any move or any word I spoke would be taken as a welcome for him to be more aggressive. I pretended not to be at home inside myself and sat very still, trying to be small and invisible like I did the times when my mother went ballistic. I was scared out of my mind but at the same time I didn't want him to stop what he was doing.

This was much more than the “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours” that we played with each other as kids. I realized this was sex, adult sex, the very thing my mother had warned me about and something I knew nothing about. When he showed me his thing I knew this was the very thing that was going to send me straight to hell. Sex had suddenly arrived and was beckoning. It is irrational but I was afraid he would say something to my mother if I complained or ran out of the room and I was more afraid of her and what she would do than I was of him. In my mind I feared my mother and being killed, even more than going to hell because of this sex stuff.

When he got his hand on his cock and pulled it out it sprang forward real fast to get out of those slacks, and then I watched as it grew even bigger and straighter. How could that happen? I could only watch and stare, fascinated. It looked huge, swollen up thick like a fat summer sausage or something. The size of it made me seize up inside. I didn’t know boys had that kind of thing in their pants, like how could it even fit inside there. He pushed it down a little, holding it at its base so it pointed straight out of him, right at my face. I had never seen saw a man’s cock before and the little pee-hole surprised me, the way it looked at me. He pushed it down onto the top of his other hand, just holding it gentle, the way you’d show or offer a kid a hamster or something. It jumped a couple of times. Inside the tent of my nightie I had buckled up my legs to my chest and clamped my thighs together, hard. I knew how to pray and I asked to please don’t let this man hurt me.

I looked up at him and he smiled down at me gently like he is my best friend. He reached his hand out to place it on my head, cupping my scull. I didn’t look at him any more but all the while he was gently patting my head, that hard cock of his was staring right at me with its slitted eye. From higher up the man’s voice was very gentle and soft sounding, telling me he wouldn’t hurt me for anything in the world, no matter what. He would never, ever hurt me. We are special friends. He loves me. Then he closed his fingers tight around his hard penis and moved his hand back and forth a couple of times and then pushed it out towards me, stretching it big. It wiggled or jumped and this he tells me shows that he loves me. He pointed his pecker at me again.

I thought of running, lunging away from him when his voice went into a scary whisper, more secret-like. He told me how I should put my lips on his cock and give him a special kiss. For a long time my daddy had been calling me his special girl and said my kisses were extra special so this sounded like familiar ground to me. Besides, all my life I had been taught to show respect for my elders and do as I was told.

And so I did as he asked me to do. I gave him a special kiss. I puckered my lips like a fish then leaned forward and put a smooch right on the smooth swollen end of his cock. And it wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be. I kept my eyes closed and thought of it as something else.

But there is something deeply familiar about an erection on a man, even when the fundamental feeling coursing through you is that what you are doing is wrong, that you are just a kid and it is wrong for you to be selected. I was just a kid and didn’t even know what I was doing. Then you feel it is even more wrong for wanting to experience more, even in the face of your fear. It was exciting and fearful and disgusting all at the same time.

You know how you sometimes have felt that lurch in your stomach, that roller coaster, panty pissing kind of fear that has a tickle to it, a body tingling excitement to it like when you suddenly fall from up high up and the bottom of your stomach drops out of yourself. It’s scary but there is a thrill to it and you want to do it again.

I can’t explain how my body felt. I was confused and excited and tingly all over at the same time. Through all this wrong shines a sense of something you know already, that you can have an impact on someone, on a situation. It is a good feeling and it is exciting because you know you are moving into new territory, into an adult world. I wondered if this what made you into an adult, a grown up?

After I kissed his cock, I drew my head back, opened my eyes and realized that I really had kissed a grown man’s swollen outfit. I heard his voice floating down to me again, telling me I should poke my tongue out and try to lick it like a popsicle. This time when I moved my face closer I drew in a breath and discovered that his pecker really didn’t smell bad, I mean not like a bathroom toilet or anything. It smelled more like fresh bread, all yeasty and alive. There was a clear translucent drop taking shape in his pee-hole and was beginning to drip off the end.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he says. I didn’t know whether to believe him or not. I thought it was an obvious lie since his voice had grown to an ache, a pleading. “Just open your mouth a little sweetheart, and let it go in.” I wanted to try that. I fish-formed my lips again and the fleshy head of his cock parted my lips, easing forward a little until it bumped against my front teeth. I relaxed and opened my jaw a little more, but I was shy of it. It was warm and he was pushing it at me. My teeth scraped his pecker when he pushed a little harder and he pulled it back with a jerk. He told me to watch my teeth and that I need to open even wider and at the same time try to pull my lips over my teeth so that I won’t bite him. I do my best at this and the next thing I know the whole swollen head of his cock has moved inside, past my teeth. Now I feel my lips pressing on his shaft. It must have been okay because he says, “Yes, that’s it. That feels good.” Then his breath got ragged, heavier and a lot faster.

Then for no apparent reason his hands clamped down on the back of my head and all the care and gentleness seemed to go out of him. I didn't know what I had done because I was doing the best I could. But his cock seems to have swollen hard as stone and filled my mouth as it pushed forward, deeper into my mouth. My mouth had never been stretched this wide open in my whole life. He rammed it against the back of my throat, causing a tearing and burning feeling. Plus the fleshy head of that cock seemed to block my windpipe, choking the air off, kicking in my gag reflex. I wanted to throw up.

I closed my eyes tightly and began to panic. I couldn't breathe and it felt like I was drowning. I took a breath through my nose and tried blowing it out my mouth. His cock was so tight in my mouth that I heard a high pitched bubbly hiss as air escaped from between my stretched lips and his hard shaft.

I’m sure this took no more than a few seconds and just when I couldn’t stand it any more he pulled back so I could suck in a breath. I stopped gagging but then he pushed down on my head again and shoved his cock in deep again. The fleshy head was like a soft mushroom, expanding to cut off my air supply. I gagged again.

He pulled back a little so I could breathe again and then something wet and warm started spurting out of his dick, hitting deep in the back of my throat. I immediately thought he was peeing in my mouth. I was a kid and I was sure it couldn't be anything else. He was holding the back of my head with both hands and I couldn’t get him out of my mouth. I thought I was going to choke so I had to swallow. I knew then it wasn't pee and it didn’t come the same as pee. This pee was thick as cream rinse and didn’t come in a steady stream but pumped with a slow strong pulse. When he first started cumming I tried to raise my head out of his lap but his hand held me down firmly. His cock continued to pump his juice and my throat and mouth filled with a salty chemical taste that was not unpleasant. The stuff was warm and slick.

When he finished he pulled it out and sat down beside me. Then he got all gentle again and rubbed my back while I threw up on the front of my gown. I was grateful for the warm rubbing of his hand, like whatever I did wrong or bad with his cock he had forgiven me. I puked again and again until my stomach seized up. Now I was terrified my mother would see all the smelly puke on my nightie and ask me why I had gotten sick. He kept patting me on the back saying I’m okay, and that I did real good. He washed my nightie for me and dried it in the dryer before they came home so she never did find out.

In the core of myself I knew that I was far from being good. I could be better. He told me that what had happened was perfectly normal for first time girls and that next time would be much better for me. I told him my mouth hurt and the corners were sore from being stretched open so much. He looked at them for me to make sure they weren't split or anything. He told me I was very pretty and that he liked me a lot. He put his arm around me and held my head against his chest while he gently stroked my hair. I liked that a lot. He made me promise I wouldn’t say anything to my mother about what we had done. It was supposed to be our secret.

For a whole week I thought about what we had done and how he said I had done really good. I was so afraid my mother would somehow be able to find out just from looking at me. I had all kinds of questions but I knew it was something he liked a lot and he said I was a wonderful girl. I had made him happy.

When we were alone the next time he came he asked me if I had thought about it much and if I wanted to do it again. He told me he wanted me to. I said no, I didn’t want to. I wouldn’t do it because it scared me when I couldn't breathe and I didn't want to get sick again.

He promised me he wouldn't put it in as far, that he would be more gentle and that he would make sure I was able to breathe and not get scared. He said he had thought about me a lot during the week and that he thought I was a really cool girl. A promise is a promise so I said okay. He stood in front of me while I sat on the edge of the bed. This time I knew what was going to happen and was better prepared and not as afraid. He was even gentler with me as he promised and I didn’t gag or throw or anything. He held my head in both his hands with his fingers buried deep in my hair, massaging my scalp with his fingertips. It seemed to me he shot even more stuff into my mouth this time and some of it managed to squirt out from the corners of my mouth. When he pulled his cock out some of it dribbled down my chin. I looked up at him and swallowed the rest of the cum in my mouth. I thought it actually had a peculiar but pleasant taste. I told him it was better than the first time. He got hard again when I said that and I thought that was cool.

After the first couple of times I learned to really like doing it. It was exciting and I knew I was moving into new territory, into an adult world. I knew I had a certain power over him that I didn't understand and in a perverse way I realized I was getting back at my mother. You know, “Step on a crack, break your mother’s back” sort of idea.

I knew then that as long as he came to baby sit he would want me to suck him off as he called it. I also knew that even though I was young compared to him and people like my parents, I had a certain power over him that I didn't understand. All I knew was I had something he wanted, something I could do and I learned I could control him.

When he came for the third time he came straight up to my room as soon as my parents left. I was already in my nightie, sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for him. By now I knew what he expected and what he wanted. I knew my mother would disapprove of everything I was doing so I took the initiative and loosened his belt, unzipped him and pulled his pants open like he had done before. I tried to open the hole in his shorts to pull his hard-on through but I found it difficult to do. He told me to just lift the elastic waistband over his cock and push his underwear down his legs. I still don't know why they make men's shorts the way they do.

One time he said he would like to see my new tits and asked if it would be okay for him to look at them. I just pulled my nightie off and sat in front of him in my panties and just that made him get hard just from looking at me. At the time it seemed to me he was very impressed, not like my mother who couldn’t stand it that I was growing breasts. I was soon looking forward to his visits and giving him the pleasure he said I provided. I eventually lost count of how many times we did it. Sometimes we did it more than once.

Near the end of the time he came to baby sit he dry fucked me three times but I was wearing my panties each time. He would pick me picked me up in his arms and hold me close while I clung to him with my arms wrapped tightly around his neck, my face nuzzled against his chest. He put his long hard cock between my legs, tight against my pussy and instructed me to clamp my legs closed as tight as possible. Then he simulated fucking me with one hand supporting my back and the other under my bum. When he was pumping at me he would lean me back and put his wet mouth over my tits. My tits were extremely tender to the touch but he was careful and I loved to feel the texture of his tongue. I learned immediately there is a connection between my tits and my pussy. Whenever he kissed me there my pussy jumped or twitched. I don’t know how to describe the feeling I felt between my legs. It was like electric or alive or something. One time he put it between my legs from behind. He put it between my legs and pressed himself real tight against my bum. I was real skinny when I was young and I remember looking down seeing his thing sticking out in front of me as though it was mine. I thought I looked funny to have a penis down there.

Then for reasons unknown to me he stopped babysitting. Maybe my parents decided I didn’t need a sitter anymore. I was disappointed because I had learned to enjoy all the ways I could make him happy. He never did fuck me proper, even though he could have if he really wanted to. I mean I would have let him.

I guess that was when I became hooked on sucking cock and I have loved it ever since. You already know I like doing it with a pretty CD girl. Maybe it is because of that experience with the sitter but I go crazy when I see one on a girl.

I know you won't experience the same kind of kind of thing I did the first time. You want to suck cock and you are already an adult so it will probably be good and exciting for you. I love it whenever I make a guy cum. I don’t know how to explain it but there is something very special when a man wants me that much.