So much pleasure brings so much guilt

I wrote this once before but it did not post so I'm going to write several smaller sections and see if they post. I'm in my early 30's 5'3" 118#.with blonde hair firm perky breath with large sensitive pink nipples, clean tight sweet tasting needy White wet married pussy. I always look down on interracial sex and it was not till I started seeing huge thick BBC in interracial videos on hamster that I got more more turned on to the thought of me with a BBC. my thoughts started turning into desires and even a craving. I found myself dressing proper but with a very sexy look with the clothes I wore. I knew I was teething black men.
one night I did talk to this young black man. he claimed to be 19 however I thought you looked much younger with his small frame, young looks, he was just a little over 5 ft tall and weighed about a hundred and fifteen pounds but when he was at my car door talking to me I seen he had a huge package down below. I guess it was his young looks small frame and a large package that made me excited and feel safe . I did take his phone number down as if I might call for yard work help.
I will try to send this and then continue part 2