My Rant

I Love females who likes wearing nylons, pantyhose, stockings. Who wants to sext and be intimate, to be a fantasy mistress. I'm sex starved but picky. So tired of being with women who don't care to wear stockings. Why is this so difficult? I'm very romantic, like to write poetry. I keep marrying women who are shut off and repressed sexually. Maybe I'm too much of a sweetheart I dunno but something has to change in my life. I'm so tired of being sexually denied by women who are then outraged when I stray. A man can only masturbate so much. I see all these people on this site having great sex and it drives me crazy. There are certainly tons of women here wearing all kinds of gorgeous hose, and again I think, where can I find someone like that? What the hell am I doing wrong? If this site existed when I was young and in my twenties! Oh such fun I'd have. But now, I'm in my 40s and married with four k**s. I haven't had sex in over a year. I've been caught having a romantic affair by email with an ex girlfriend. The kicker is I wasn't even getting any. Now I'm sure not to have sex for even longer. If ever again! When we last were even doing it sex was done like a chore similar to doing dishes or taking out trash. I so want a woman who wants to be with me. who doesn't mind my casual flirty grabs of her body, who wants to flirt with me by text while i'm at work. Who'd want to send me sexy pics of herself from time to time. And of course, in hose!!! I want her to want me. To like touching me. To tease me and say sexy things about me to me. I constantly tease her about wearing hose to no end. She used to wear it for me once way back when. I can't even talk to her about it. she just closes herself off to me. I'm going effin crazy. I'm married but so alone. Such terrible irony. I so long for the touch of her body, to feel her nylon legs wrapped around mine. There's no shortage of opportunities yet every one of them is wasted. I jerk off every damn nite. Sigh. I want sex, in hose, and I want the sex to MEAN something. I want her to feel the thrill of having sex with me the same as I do with her. I'm not gross, deformed or weird, yet that's the way she makes me feel. She says she loves me yet it rings hollow. How do you say you love someone when you don't want their touch? When you can't bring yourself to have sex, and can't tell me why not? Maybe it's hormones, maybe it's depression, maybe it's too much raising k**s and not feeling sexy. I don't understand. I no longer care to. Each day it eats away at my soul. I'm apparently just supposed to turn it off and wait. or hold it in. But there are cracks, and I am failing. I'm using this post just to broadcast my heart. I've been bottling it up, and have nowhere I can turn to speak out. I seek solace, I seek comfort, I CRAVE SEX!!!