30 reasons to masturbate
1) Because you’ve just gone to bed and it helps you fall asleep
2) Because you’ve just woken up and it’ll help wake you up
3) Because you’ve got cramps and orgasms help them go away
4) Because it means you learn how you like to be touched
5) Because you can’t stop thinking about what happened the other night…
6) Because you’ve had a stressy day and it’ll chill you the fuck out
7) Because you just got new batteries for your vibrator
8) Because your entire family just left the house and now you’re home all alone :)
9) Because it’s summer vacation and there’s a lot of time to kill
10) Because you’re taking a shower and, um, hello showerhead
11) Because someone just sent you a naughty text and got you really, really wet
12) Because something super-hot just appeared on your Tumblr dash
13) Because after an epic quest, you’ve just found the most perfect porn clip ever
14) Because you haven’t gotten off in aaaaaages
15) Because you got off, like, 15 minutes ago… but somehow you’re horny again
16) Because you’ve just woken up from the craziest sex dream and you’re already 90% of the way there
17) Because revision is boring after a while… and hey, you just finished a whole section anyways
18) Because you’ve just had a massive share-fest about sex stuff with your BFF and you’ve got gradually hornier and hornier
19) Because you’ve invented this new fantasy that turns you on whenever you think about it… which is all the time
20) Because you’ve discovered this new method that makes you come so hard and you love it
21) Because your roommate’s not there… or asleep… probably
22) Because your boy is wonderful… but sometimes, by yourself, you like to think about girls
23) Because you can get it done in, like, 30 seconds
24) Because you know you can make it last, like, an hour
25) Because somehow your sheets accidentally bunched themselves up between your legs and… mmm
26) Because of that secret fantasy from your fandom of choice
27) Because your sweetie’s on the other end of the phone telling you exactly what they’re going to do to you next time they see you
28) Because your body has randomly made you so insanely horny in the middle of the day and you’ve snuck off for a bathroom break
29) Because you’ve just realised that you’ve been lying around with your hand in your panties for the past 15 minutes anyway
30) Oh yeah… because it feels good.
2) Because you’ve just woken up and it’ll help wake you up
3) Because you’ve got cramps and orgasms help them go away
4) Because it means you learn how you like to be touched
5) Because you can’t stop thinking about what happened the other night…
6) Because you’ve had a stressy day and it’ll chill you the fuck out
7) Because you just got new batteries for your vibrator
8) Because your entire family just left the house and now you’re home all alone :)
9) Because it’s summer vacation and there’s a lot of time to kill
10) Because you’re taking a shower and, um, hello showerhead
11) Because someone just sent you a naughty text and got you really, really wet
12) Because something super-hot just appeared on your Tumblr dash
13) Because after an epic quest, you’ve just found the most perfect porn clip ever
14) Because you haven’t gotten off in aaaaaages
15) Because you got off, like, 15 minutes ago… but somehow you’re horny again
16) Because you’ve just woken up from the craziest sex dream and you’re already 90% of the way there
17) Because revision is boring after a while… and hey, you just finished a whole section anyways
18) Because you’ve just had a massive share-fest about sex stuff with your BFF and you’ve got gradually hornier and hornier
19) Because you’ve invented this new fantasy that turns you on whenever you think about it… which is all the time
20) Because you’ve discovered this new method that makes you come so hard and you love it
21) Because your roommate’s not there… or asleep… probably
22) Because your boy is wonderful… but sometimes, by yourself, you like to think about girls
23) Because you can get it done in, like, 30 seconds
24) Because you know you can make it last, like, an hour
25) Because somehow your sheets accidentally bunched themselves up between your legs and… mmm
26) Because of that secret fantasy from your fandom of choice
27) Because your sweetie’s on the other end of the phone telling you exactly what they’re going to do to you next time they see you
28) Because your body has randomly made you so insanely horny in the middle of the day and you’ve snuck off for a bathroom break
29) Because you’ve just realised that you’ve been lying around with your hand in your panties for the past 15 minutes anyway
30) Oh yeah… because it feels good.
12年前
