Could I be a cuck

Around Nov of 2012 my ex actually seeing this guy.I was pissed, cause I wanted to be back with her. One night I popped up and he was there, I was mad once again. I knew they had been fuckin and this confirmed it. she spilled the beans on how they were fuckin and while mad was actually aroused. Shortly after I had sex with her, then found out she was still fuckin him and me. She was fuckin him once a week and me once a week, something similar anyway. Being a curious person who likes to know it all I began asking questions. She told me of course they were fuckin, how he hit it from the back, how she suck his dick,has tasted his cum, told me they fuck on the couch I sit on, and how big his dick was. Still furious, I made it my objective to fuck her every time he did, just so she could say I was they better lover. It was hard to judge because I was only able to find out through her phone which I didn't always have access. I don't think she recorded every time they did it either. Once I found out she had fucked him that night, and she invited me over the next morning to have sex. She took a shower, but that pussy tasted good. They had safe weeks where he could nut inside her. When I found that out I wanted to eat her pussy ever day. I sucked on that pussy like his cum was still in there. The idea of eating her pussy after he nutted in it, made it exciting. On the inside I was happy,I was sexual satisfied. Not because if the frequency, but the excitement of her fuckin us both brought. On the outside I was miserable and was trying to get rid of him. I did everything and eventually it worked. I'm glad he is gone, just miss the excitement he had to offer.