Giving up on masturbation for a while...
OK, so a little background to what I'm just about to say. I'm 28, and I last had sex just over two YEARS ago, shortly after I split up with my then girlfriend.
Since then, I've had a couple of quick blow jobs off girls I've met and got along with, but nothing has led all the way to the real thing. This has been largely due to the fact that I just cannot consider having penetrative sex with anyone who I don't have real feelings for. It means nothing, and that has meant that in practice I've never been able to get the right sensation.
All of which has meant that, more than ever, I have become attached to my right hand over the last two years. I don't have the most dominant sex drive, but I found myself drawn into masturbating at least five times a week, frequently more. Not that there is anything abnormal or unhealthy about that, but it felt as though I had got to the stage where I was giving way to my body's urges far too frequently. So, I thought I'd take a little more control, and see how long I could last without whacking one off.
It was tough. In the first three or four days, my sex drive rocketed, and I felt as though I had to masturbate nearly all the time. It dropped off considerably as I settled into a routine and found other things to do (I've been much more active in the online communities I'm part of, have focussed more at work and have felt less embarrassed around women I find attractive), but after 15 days, more powerful sensations of arousal started coming over me. They were less frequent than in the first few days (only five or six that I was aware of daily) but man, was I getting hard. The urge was growing rapidly.
After 18 days, I found myself getting incredibly hard over nothing whilst lounging around. Realising the heat that was emanating from by penis, I instinctively reached down and placed my hands on it. I oozed a little cum. It was forceful, rapid, but not a real ejaculation. This was just my body's way of getting release. After it happened, I couldn't concentrate on anything other than my penis. My natural sex drive rocketed. I couldn't even get to sleep for hours due that night due to the unbearable pressure growing in my boxers.
But I resisted. And I felt empowered for it on that one occasion. I made the executive decision that I needed to unload, however. So when my housemate was out for the evening and I had a couple of hours to myself, I made the decision that it was time to take matters (and my penis) into my own hands.
The release after 19 days was incredible. I cannot describe how it felt when I shot out about six times. It felt amazing to finally let go. After all, this was the longest period of time I had gone without ejaculation since I started to play with myself and had my wet dreams at about 12.
I told myself at the time, and before I let rip, that it would be the only time I ejaculated for at least another week to a fortnight because I wanted to keep up the good work I'd done. I was lying to myself if I said I'd ever keep to it though. If anything, the period of abstinence and now my return to masturbating frequently has meant I am more drawn to my penis, but I'd never have grown in confidence enough to share my orgasm, stories about myself as a sexual being, or any picture of my member with anyone else anywhere ever without it. I also got more confident around women, although this has not rescinded in any way since I started masturbating again - I think the psychological boost was what I needed to get myself back on track when it came to approaching people in reality, as well as online.
I recorded my ejaculation (fairly poorly, I must confess) on my camera and am in the process of uploading it here for your viewing. I hope that those people that watch it can enjoy just a portion of the excitement that I did when it actually happened. When it's up on the site, if you do enjoy it, please let me know on the comments box.
And now I go back out to the real world, to enjoy the summer, and see if I can again meet a girl who will want to share their life experiences with me, have a good laugh and with whom mutual satisfaction can be gained sexually...
Since then, I've had a couple of quick blow jobs off girls I've met and got along with, but nothing has led all the way to the real thing. This has been largely due to the fact that I just cannot consider having penetrative sex with anyone who I don't have real feelings for. It means nothing, and that has meant that in practice I've never been able to get the right sensation.
All of which has meant that, more than ever, I have become attached to my right hand over the last two years. I don't have the most dominant sex drive, but I found myself drawn into masturbating at least five times a week, frequently more. Not that there is anything abnormal or unhealthy about that, but it felt as though I had got to the stage where I was giving way to my body's urges far too frequently. So, I thought I'd take a little more control, and see how long I could last without whacking one off.
It was tough. In the first three or four days, my sex drive rocketed, and I felt as though I had to masturbate nearly all the time. It dropped off considerably as I settled into a routine and found other things to do (I've been much more active in the online communities I'm part of, have focussed more at work and have felt less embarrassed around women I find attractive), but after 15 days, more powerful sensations of arousal started coming over me. They were less frequent than in the first few days (only five or six that I was aware of daily) but man, was I getting hard. The urge was growing rapidly.
After 18 days, I found myself getting incredibly hard over nothing whilst lounging around. Realising the heat that was emanating from by penis, I instinctively reached down and placed my hands on it. I oozed a little cum. It was forceful, rapid, but not a real ejaculation. This was just my body's way of getting release. After it happened, I couldn't concentrate on anything other than my penis. My natural sex drive rocketed. I couldn't even get to sleep for hours due that night due to the unbearable pressure growing in my boxers.
But I resisted. And I felt empowered for it on that one occasion. I made the executive decision that I needed to unload, however. So when my housemate was out for the evening and I had a couple of hours to myself, I made the decision that it was time to take matters (and my penis) into my own hands.
The release after 19 days was incredible. I cannot describe how it felt when I shot out about six times. It felt amazing to finally let go. After all, this was the longest period of time I had gone without ejaculation since I started to play with myself and had my wet dreams at about 12.
I told myself at the time, and before I let rip, that it would be the only time I ejaculated for at least another week to a fortnight because I wanted to keep up the good work I'd done. I was lying to myself if I said I'd ever keep to it though. If anything, the period of abstinence and now my return to masturbating frequently has meant I am more drawn to my penis, but I'd never have grown in confidence enough to share my orgasm, stories about myself as a sexual being, or any picture of my member with anyone else anywhere ever without it. I also got more confident around women, although this has not rescinded in any way since I started masturbating again - I think the psychological boost was what I needed to get myself back on track when it came to approaching people in reality, as well as online.
I recorded my ejaculation (fairly poorly, I must confess) on my camera and am in the process of uploading it here for your viewing. I hope that those people that watch it can enjoy just a portion of the excitement that I did when it actually happened. When it's up on the site, if you do enjoy it, please let me know on the comments box.
And now I go back out to the real world, to enjoy the summer, and see if I can again meet a girl who will want to share their life experiences with me, have a good laugh and with whom mutual satisfaction can be gained sexually...
12年前
