MY ADDICTION

I guess it's safe to say I'm addicted to sex, but lately it's been getting harder and harder to handle. Out of all my years of being in relationships I've always been faithful no matter what. Yea, I'm the one that runs around screaming monogamy. Never had I ever cheated. I would rather leave than to cheat, because to me that seemed like the best thing to do without hurting the other person. Now it's getting real hard to focus on one dick. The man I love, the man I crave for emotionally just doesn't have the right equipment to keep me satisfied. Yes, he has a small dick. Not tiny but def not what I would ask for. At one point I though love was enough, because with all my heart I do love him no doubt but my sexual desires have increased and I believe that sooner or later I won't be able to hide these feelings. As many of you know by my profile I love sex, it's what I do. He however is not as sexual as me. I want to explore many things, he is up to exploring but not as much as I. One of my latest obsessions is being with a female, most guys would love this but not he. At first I thought he was gay but now I just think it's him being selfish and wants to share me with NO ONE even if it's one of his fantasies. I was never the one to cheat but I am seriously considering meeting with a female. Many people I spoke with said if it's with a female it's OK but I don't think so. To me cheating is cheating no matter male or female. I do believe it would hurt less (fucking a girl vs guy) if he ever found out but still I know it would hurt. I also been dreaming about many past big dick lovers I've known, usually these dreams occur after a night of sex with him. I'm not going to say I'm not pleased with him because I am, I JUST WANT MORE. A BIGGER DICK AND MORE ROUNDS OF FUCKING AND A PUSSY TO PLEASE. In my past mind I would just leave him to go fuck people but I can't, not with him. I love him dearly and he loves me more than any person I ever been with. Some may say love vs sex is a no brainer but when your in the situation it's not as clear as day. As of right now I am strongly thinking about meeting a female through one of these many sites to meet for one night, but I was not born to lie, sooner or later I will get caught and it may be the end of a beautiful thing. I just have to decide whether it's worth it. I'm pretty sure none of ya are going to read this but it was nice getting my thoughts out.