Ranting about porn
This well be a rant about porn. don't like that? Don't read it.
Hey folks, Mike and Melli here!
You might have guessed as much already, but we fuckin' love porn. It's a perfect source of inspiration for our own little games as well as a great way to get off in case one of us isn't in the mood. That being said, let the ranting begin.
#1: the of camera dude
Surely you know the situation. There is a hot girl, a horny guy, all they want to do is fuck in peace, but that asswipe of a camera man keeps mouthing off. Especially annoying in Brazzers or Bang bros. videos. I can't count how often I heard the phrase
"Uh, yeah, she's sucking that n****adick!"
What the fuck? What's the point? In case we don't get what's going on? To fill the awkward silence, since having a cock in your mouth makes it hard to speak? Guess what, THAT'S THE POINT!
That's not to say that a little supervision of the scene can't enhance the final product. If you have someone who keeps an eye on the picture, that's a good thing and we don't mind hearing the occasional instruction like
"try lifting your leg a little" or stuff like that. But that constant and completely mindless blabber destroys the entire mood!
#2 the "fat ass" issue
There is a fundamental difference between a fat ass, and a fat woman! Now, I (Mike) happen to like women who have curves. But I do differentiate between girls who have curves at all the right places and girls who have places with all the wrong curves. And I get it, big girls also have big asses, but that's definitely the wrong kind of big.
And while i'm on this, let's address the general labeling issue.
A dark skinned latina is NOT a black girl.
A pale Japanese girl is NOT from Thailand.
A blindfold and furry handcuffs are NOT bondage.
And a dildo coming out of a zipper is sure as shit NOT a big dick.
Do they really think we're that stupid? Or are they?
#3 Japanese porn
We've all seen it. There is a gorgeous girl paying with herself, or being played with, and she is really getting into it. Suddenly some jackass jumps in and starts humping her like he's trying to break some sort of speed record. Wtf? Why forcefully ruin the mood like that? That is usually the point I turn video off, because i'm just not into hairy asses trying to generate friction burn on their dicks. Or making the weirdest slobbering sounds as they eat, or apparently slurp, pussy. It's like my mom always said. If you can't do it right, then don't do it at all.
That's it for now, but i'm sure we'll come up with more, considering the amount of junk out there.
Have fun!
Mike & Melissa
Hey folks, Mike and Melli here!
You might have guessed as much already, but we fuckin' love porn. It's a perfect source of inspiration for our own little games as well as a great way to get off in case one of us isn't in the mood. That being said, let the ranting begin.
#1: the of camera dude
Surely you know the situation. There is a hot girl, a horny guy, all they want to do is fuck in peace, but that asswipe of a camera man keeps mouthing off. Especially annoying in Brazzers or Bang bros. videos. I can't count how often I heard the phrase
"Uh, yeah, she's sucking that n****adick!"
What the fuck? What's the point? In case we don't get what's going on? To fill the awkward silence, since having a cock in your mouth makes it hard to speak? Guess what, THAT'S THE POINT!
That's not to say that a little supervision of the scene can't enhance the final product. If you have someone who keeps an eye on the picture, that's a good thing and we don't mind hearing the occasional instruction like
"try lifting your leg a little" or stuff like that. But that constant and completely mindless blabber destroys the entire mood!
#2 the "fat ass" issue
There is a fundamental difference between a fat ass, and a fat woman! Now, I (Mike) happen to like women who have curves. But I do differentiate between girls who have curves at all the right places and girls who have places with all the wrong curves. And I get it, big girls also have big asses, but that's definitely the wrong kind of big.
And while i'm on this, let's address the general labeling issue.
A dark skinned latina is NOT a black girl.
A pale Japanese girl is NOT from Thailand.
A blindfold and furry handcuffs are NOT bondage.
And a dildo coming out of a zipper is sure as shit NOT a big dick.
Do they really think we're that stupid? Or are they?
#3 Japanese porn
We've all seen it. There is a gorgeous girl paying with herself, or being played with, and she is really getting into it. Suddenly some jackass jumps in and starts humping her like he's trying to break some sort of speed record. Wtf? Why forcefully ruin the mood like that? That is usually the point I turn video off, because i'm just not into hairy asses trying to generate friction burn on their dicks. Or making the weirdest slobbering sounds as they eat, or apparently slurp, pussy. It's like my mom always said. If you can't do it right, then don't do it at all.
That's it for now, but i'm sure we'll come up with more, considering the amount of junk out there.
Have fun!
Mike & Melissa
12年前
