Mike's Blog 9: Dominance
Dominance
Yes, it's time I talk about it. And sorry for the lack of releases lately. I've... Ah what the hell, I've been lazy. Deal with it ;)
Like promised, this will be a list about the different dom types. And just like last time, keep in mind that I'm basing this on personal experience and opinion, so this is not "the official list" and if I let a basic type out, it means I have no experience to share about that one. Also I will ignore sexual preferences, meaning kinks / fetishes, and focus on demeanor and behavior instead. The reason for that is that I've covered most of it in the last blog and repeating all of that would make it way too long. Also you will find a of similarities between some types, after all dominating is dominating and you can't reinvent the wheel over and over again.
The worried
He's torn between his desire to dominate and worry over going too far. Its common to feel like that in the early stages and for some people this will continue to be a problem of sorts forever. Don't get me wrong, being careful isn't a bad thing parse, but being overly worried can put both you and your partner in an awkward spot. Trust her to let you know when you are crossing the line and give in to your urges.
Maybe its best if I stop here for a while and explain something. Up until this point I've always gone under the assumption that
a) the dominant partner is the one reading this and
b) he has no doubts about being dominant
But what about those who have a submissive partner and don't know how to approach being dominant? Or maybe they have a wrong idea about it and categorize it as a form of roleplaying?
Let's begin with a fact: its not a role play. Being either dominant or submissive is a desire, a character trait if you will, and much deeper than playing "me Tarzan, you Jane". ... I knew I should gave pushed Melli to do the part about the submissive's mind, because now I'm stuck doing it...
I believe I've covered the dominant partner sufficiently to give you an idea about his inner workings, so let's do the sub.
interestingly, many submissive women are dominant in their everyday lives. They take charge at home and seem to run on stress, coffee and a tight schedule. So why would a strong woman like that want to be dominated in bed? Because they take charge. Because they are strong. Its their way of letting go. To be able to just let go all that stress and give themselves to their partner in every way he desires. And unless he understand that, there is almost no point in continuing down that road.
Like I said a while back, a submissive isn't conquered or subdued, but chooses to be. Its her most precious gift she can offer to you. Allowing you to see her in such a vulnerable situation is a difficult step for her and requires a huge amount of trust. Its the opposite of role play, she's showing her true self to you and you alone, the facade is what she's showing everyone else. I hope this gives you a general idea about it, unfortunately Melissa isn't here at the moment so she can't help me to go into more detail.
Let's get back on track.
The impulsive
He doesn't plan much, but instead likes to react to his partner. To pull this off, it requires a talent for reading people and experience. He's difficult to read as a sub but predictable, if that makes any sense. Usually this type is very skilled in bringing his partner to their limits but never crossing it, instead he can keep them at a state where its almost too much, but never taking that last step.
The calm
Hi, I'm Mike and I'm a calm type. I'm every submissive's nightmare *evil laugh*
But seriously, the calm type is almost impossible to read or predict. That's because they hardly ever show emotion, instead they tie their partner up with a smile, get out the crop and with that same smile they start the spanking, never changing in demeanor.
Calms are usually very analytical and even more than impulsive types, they can read their partner and choose whatever it is they don't expect to happen next.
The torturer
Ever heard the sentence "Count every hit out loud and thank me for it"? Then you've met one. The torturer is a very cold type of dom, praying on their partners emotions and fears. He tells what he's going to do, often in explicit detail, only to scare and drive fear into his partner. Weirdly, many of then are also worried types, making it appear as if they were playing mindgames.
The playful
Another "beginner" type, the playful dom is someone who does whatever he thinks might be fun for him and/or his partner, often after thinking something that starts with "what if...".
That can result in some very unique ideas and tortures. Also, he is really fun to be dominated by. The atmosphere isn't nearly add charged as it would be with a torturer or a calm type. There is a lot of laughing and a learning by doing kind of feeling to it.
The careless
This one is the opposite of the worried. He does whatever he wants to do, regardless of their partners wishes. That's doesn't mean he ignores limits, but for example, no matter how much you beg him to let you come, until he wants you to, you're not gonna. He's also a very formless type, meaning that sometimes he's going to tell what he's up to, other times he likes to surprise.
Most other types are a combination of those and naming them all would take forever. I hope this gave you at least a general overview and helped you understand each other a little better.
Yes, it's time I talk about it. And sorry for the lack of releases lately. I've... Ah what the hell, I've been lazy. Deal with it ;)
Like promised, this will be a list about the different dom types. And just like last time, keep in mind that I'm basing this on personal experience and opinion, so this is not "the official list" and if I let a basic type out, it means I have no experience to share about that one. Also I will ignore sexual preferences, meaning kinks / fetishes, and focus on demeanor and behavior instead. The reason for that is that I've covered most of it in the last blog and repeating all of that would make it way too long. Also you will find a of similarities between some types, after all dominating is dominating and you can't reinvent the wheel over and over again.
The worried
He's torn between his desire to dominate and worry over going too far. Its common to feel like that in the early stages and for some people this will continue to be a problem of sorts forever. Don't get me wrong, being careful isn't a bad thing parse, but being overly worried can put both you and your partner in an awkward spot. Trust her to let you know when you are crossing the line and give in to your urges.
Maybe its best if I stop here for a while and explain something. Up until this point I've always gone under the assumption that
a) the dominant partner is the one reading this and
b) he has no doubts about being dominant
But what about those who have a submissive partner and don't know how to approach being dominant? Or maybe they have a wrong idea about it and categorize it as a form of roleplaying?
Let's begin with a fact: its not a role play. Being either dominant or submissive is a desire, a character trait if you will, and much deeper than playing "me Tarzan, you Jane". ... I knew I should gave pushed Melli to do the part about the submissive's mind, because now I'm stuck doing it...
I believe I've covered the dominant partner sufficiently to give you an idea about his inner workings, so let's do the sub.
interestingly, many submissive women are dominant in their everyday lives. They take charge at home and seem to run on stress, coffee and a tight schedule. So why would a strong woman like that want to be dominated in bed? Because they take charge. Because they are strong. Its their way of letting go. To be able to just let go all that stress and give themselves to their partner in every way he desires. And unless he understand that, there is almost no point in continuing down that road.
Like I said a while back, a submissive isn't conquered or subdued, but chooses to be. Its her most precious gift she can offer to you. Allowing you to see her in such a vulnerable situation is a difficult step for her and requires a huge amount of trust. Its the opposite of role play, she's showing her true self to you and you alone, the facade is what she's showing everyone else. I hope this gives you a general idea about it, unfortunately Melissa isn't here at the moment so she can't help me to go into more detail.
Let's get back on track.
The impulsive
He doesn't plan much, but instead likes to react to his partner. To pull this off, it requires a talent for reading people and experience. He's difficult to read as a sub but predictable, if that makes any sense. Usually this type is very skilled in bringing his partner to their limits but never crossing it, instead he can keep them at a state where its almost too much, but never taking that last step.
The calm
Hi, I'm Mike and I'm a calm type. I'm every submissive's nightmare *evil laugh*
But seriously, the calm type is almost impossible to read or predict. That's because they hardly ever show emotion, instead they tie their partner up with a smile, get out the crop and with that same smile they start the spanking, never changing in demeanor.
Calms are usually very analytical and even more than impulsive types, they can read their partner and choose whatever it is they don't expect to happen next.
The torturer
Ever heard the sentence "Count every hit out loud and thank me for it"? Then you've met one. The torturer is a very cold type of dom, praying on their partners emotions and fears. He tells what he's going to do, often in explicit detail, only to scare and drive fear into his partner. Weirdly, many of then are also worried types, making it appear as if they were playing mindgames.
The playful
Another "beginner" type, the playful dom is someone who does whatever he thinks might be fun for him and/or his partner, often after thinking something that starts with "what if...".
That can result in some very unique ideas and tortures. Also, he is really fun to be dominated by. The atmosphere isn't nearly add charged as it would be with a torturer or a calm type. There is a lot of laughing and a learning by doing kind of feeling to it.
The careless
This one is the opposite of the worried. He does whatever he wants to do, regardless of their partners wishes. That's doesn't mean he ignores limits, but for example, no matter how much you beg him to let you come, until he wants you to, you're not gonna. He's also a very formless type, meaning that sometimes he's going to tell what he's up to, other times he likes to surprise.
Most other types are a combination of those and naming them all would take forever. I hope this gave you at least a general overview and helped you understand each other a little better.
12年前
