How stupid am I?

Been seeing this guy that is just discovering that he is gay.We had a few disagreements in the short 6 weeks we were fucking like bunnies!Then we decide we are going to try to make it work! That night was the best night ever ending with him saying the L word to me! The next day he won't answer the phone,so I text him and he sends one back that says you are dead to me don't call don't text!! The next day I get a call from the guy that was making movies with me to leave Rick alone that they were together now!! After arguing and fighting with him through e.mails and texts I decided that I was better off without him so I moved on,made a couple videos with some new guys only to have Rick call me out of the blue wanting to see me! So I figure that I will give him the chance to say what he had to say.We spent the next 48 hrs fucking telling each other that we love each other and being affectionate like couples are only to have him leave Monday morning to never answer me again!! He is a worthless piece of shit to even call in the first place but then tell me he loves me,i'm his inspiration,bullshit!! So fuck you Rick and Chris!! You are both dead to me!!