Distractions
This is just a random list of things that irritate me when I'm watching porn. Girl-boner-killers, so to speak:
1. "You think it looks good, why don't you come over & see how it tastes!" *clop* *clomp* *sc*****
Either teach these girls how to walk on 5-inch platforms or film them on carpet. Baby-waddling across a tile floor is not cute.
2. California/Miami both must have the ugliest housing stock in America. I know it's supposed to look wealthy and oppulent, but it just looks like nouveau-riche, over-decorated McMansions.
3. Long fingernails: ouch. Stop. No. Get that health hazard out of there.
4. Producer guy: shut up. If I wanted to hear a guy while I'm watching porn, I'd watch MF or MM.
5. Sticking your tongue all the way out and wiggling it in the general direction of the clit is not eating pussy. Maybe practice a little before getting on camera. It is possible to film hot pussy-eating without resorting to tip-of-the-tongue-so-you-can-see-everything method.
6. Spitting: yuck. If she's not wet enough, get better at fingering.
7. One girl is fingering two others and it's super hot for 30 seconds and then they totally switch it up. Everyone gets licked out for one minute each and then they switch it up again. That's not how women's arousal works and personally, I get hotter watching a girl get fingered until she comes (or fakes it reasonably). It's easier to follow along at home. ;)
8. This doesn't irritate me, it actually impresses me: how the fuck does eveyone's makeup stay in place?! Teach me your ways, porn set MUAs!
It feels good to get these off my chest. Now back to jilling off.
1. "You think it looks good, why don't you come over & see how it tastes!" *clop* *clomp* *sc*****
Either teach these girls how to walk on 5-inch platforms or film them on carpet. Baby-waddling across a tile floor is not cute.
2. California/Miami both must have the ugliest housing stock in America. I know it's supposed to look wealthy and oppulent, but it just looks like nouveau-riche, over-decorated McMansions.
3. Long fingernails: ouch. Stop. No. Get that health hazard out of there.
4. Producer guy: shut up. If I wanted to hear a guy while I'm watching porn, I'd watch MF or MM.
5. Sticking your tongue all the way out and wiggling it in the general direction of the clit is not eating pussy. Maybe practice a little before getting on camera. It is possible to film hot pussy-eating without resorting to tip-of-the-tongue-so-you-can-see-everything method.
6. Spitting: yuck. If she's not wet enough, get better at fingering.
7. One girl is fingering two others and it's super hot for 30 seconds and then they totally switch it up. Everyone gets licked out for one minute each and then they switch it up again. That's not how women's arousal works and personally, I get hotter watching a girl get fingered until she comes (or fakes it reasonably). It's easier to follow along at home. ;)
8. This doesn't irritate me, it actually impresses me: how the fuck does eveyone's makeup stay in place?! Teach me your ways, porn set MUAs!
It feels good to get these off my chest. Now back to jilling off.
12年前
