Things I just don't get, maybe you do ?
For starters let me just say there's not a judgmental bone in my body !! Hey I'm on a porn site almost everyday looking at videos, harassing folks & getting my jollies. But the fact of the matter is there are in things in life we can never for whatever reason wrap our heads around. We all have them and it doesn't make us bad people for not understanding or for not being on the same page as people who do enjoy said items or buy into such things just makes us different. With all that being said I have compiled a list of items below pervs & pervettes to be quite honest I just don't fucking get !! such as :
Why in the hell does anyone think soccer is relevant in this country !:
Now I know every 4 years when the world cup rolls around we pretend we're nuts about "futball" supporting our boys on foreign soil and pretending we know the difference between a red card & an uno card. The other 3 years ... crickets on the soccer front. k**s once they hit puberty in this country lose interest and turn to football, basketball, baseball or getting laid. We like scoring, big numbers & big plays.. a nil nil match that ends in the murder of a crooked ref doesn't do it for us here. Again don't hate soccer fans but don't understand the small amount of people that have a hardcore passion for it here.
Howard Stern:
Even before sirrus dumped the fate of their entire company in his lap ( the form of $100 million dollars worth of fate ) I never understood the fascination with the man or the show. Me personally dont think he is funny and his show whether the TV show on the E network or his daily radio show always seemed like the same re-hatched bit. Fun fact though.. I was listening as a captive audience in a coworkers vehicle on 9-11 but I digress. Only so much pixalated tits on TV and Jakie the Jokeman jokes I can handle. But even with all that using the same material for 30 years you cant tell a stern fan different.He's the messiah to them, the king of all media. Like I said I don't get it but maybe I'm just not saying Bobba Booie right ( was that it ? )
Camping/Fishing/Hunting:
Camping.. paying a bunch of money to pretend your homeless ! Traveled over 3,000 miles to gorgeous British Columbia, Canada for my one and only experience. So you sleep on the ground, don't shower for days at a time and stay awake at night sweating potential bear and mountain lion attacks. Someone explain the fun ! Or behind door no # 2 you can sit out by a pond/lake for hours getting pummeled by mosquitos to attempt to catch something that's only a trip to the grocery store away. That's if your'e not one of those weirdos that throws the fish back ! whaaat how big of a time waster is that ? The same with hunting. They sell that stuff in stores now it's not 1748 shooting Bambi is not paramount to your survival ( and no I'm not an anti-gun nut ) again nothing against people that hunt it just seems to me these days there are much easier ways to get your next meal or that new rug in front of your fireplace.
Journey:
Maybe it's a drunk white chick thing at 1AM in your local bar,or I have absolutely no ear for music but I don't understand this idea that "Don't Stop Believing " is this great song that holds up over time. It's overrated and to be honest if that's their best work we have but way too much stock into them. I'm a Styx " Renegade " type of guy but I'll let you decide for yourself..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcjzHMhBtf0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXhuso4OTG4
actually I'm gonna let this play out for a sec before I continue * currently rocking out to Styx back in a minute * ok back so lets continue...
Chili Cheese Fries:
Are we so arrogant to think that the perfect snack & side dish somehow needed improvement ? The french fry might be god's perfect food.. When cooked to the perfect crispiness it can't be matched and is a perfect dance partner for almost any entree but yet we had to go & fuck it up with stuff that belongs on a pile of nachos. It's like telling Kat Dennings " ok your tits are good but they would look a lot better with a tattoo of a lama across them " it's unneeded and a blemish on an already perfect creation.
look at these things ruined :/
again not mad but don't understand how these 2 things could be any better than the way they were intended.
The Salary Cap:
It's confusing, overrated & people cheat it and find work arounds all the time so why have it ? Oh that's right it keeps things fair.. Because he in sports who always spends the most money always wins right ? Nope If Billionaires want to foolishly spend millions on high priced free agents let them it's their money to do with as they please. " Small market teams can't compete !!! " so what hate to say it but that's their problem. In a country built on free enterprise how would you like it if some governing body at your job put a limit on how much you can make just to keep the competition in buisness.. they don't do that and you wouldn't like it.. so why is it ok in sports ?
Just don't get that notion.
Why anyone would have a house pet that's been featured on National Geographic ?
One day I will shed my mortal coil as we all will, and hopefully it's in a painless way at very ripe old age. But you know how it wont happen ? Because my pet monkey or pet tiger decided to eat my face off !! Were cats, dogs, parrots, small fish not good enough ? Who was watching National Geographic one night and thought to themselves " I would let one of them sleep in my room at night " pointing to the tiger on the screen dining on zebra and picking it's teeth with a gazelle bone.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xH_d8ymHwxo
I mean I'm all for giving an a****l a good home but let's use some common sense !!
The Obligatory Feet Guy in Cam Shows !:
Last but certainly not least is this donkey.. you know the guy just when the show is getting good, the girl has her toy all up in there about 30 seconds from ruining her sheets & and I'm about to put another dollar into the pockets of the paper towel moguls.. this guy pipes up. " Plz BB show little bit ur feet " Why ? I know we all have our fetish and I'm not going to shame anybody for it.. And I know there are tons of you that will tell me about all the eroganous zones there probably are on your feet but trust me I don't understand ! To me feet always have and always will serve a practical purpose !! Meant for walking, dancing, or a swift blow to someone's head or ass crack. I don't think when we came off the assembly line the thought was " Man I tell you it's a good thing we got these things where else we gonna put our cocks"
if that gets you off more power to you, but I'm more of a Nancy Sinatra guy :P
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbyAZQ45uww
And that's just what I'll do until next time I'm hungry and done rambling
Why in the hell does anyone think soccer is relevant in this country !:
Now I know every 4 years when the world cup rolls around we pretend we're nuts about "futball" supporting our boys on foreign soil and pretending we know the difference between a red card & an uno card. The other 3 years ... crickets on the soccer front. k**s once they hit puberty in this country lose interest and turn to football, basketball, baseball or getting laid. We like scoring, big numbers & big plays.. a nil nil match that ends in the murder of a crooked ref doesn't do it for us here. Again don't hate soccer fans but don't understand the small amount of people that have a hardcore passion for it here.
Howard Stern:
Even before sirrus dumped the fate of their entire company in his lap ( the form of $100 million dollars worth of fate ) I never understood the fascination with the man or the show. Me personally dont think he is funny and his show whether the TV show on the E network or his daily radio show always seemed like the same re-hatched bit. Fun fact though.. I was listening as a captive audience in a coworkers vehicle on 9-11 but I digress. Only so much pixalated tits on TV and Jakie the Jokeman jokes I can handle. But even with all that using the same material for 30 years you cant tell a stern fan different.He's the messiah to them, the king of all media. Like I said I don't get it but maybe I'm just not saying Bobba Booie right ( was that it ? )
Camping/Fishing/Hunting:
Camping.. paying a bunch of money to pretend your homeless ! Traveled over 3,000 miles to gorgeous British Columbia, Canada for my one and only experience. So you sleep on the ground, don't shower for days at a time and stay awake at night sweating potential bear and mountain lion attacks. Someone explain the fun ! Or behind door no # 2 you can sit out by a pond/lake for hours getting pummeled by mosquitos to attempt to catch something that's only a trip to the grocery store away. That's if your'e not one of those weirdos that throws the fish back ! whaaat how big of a time waster is that ? The same with hunting. They sell that stuff in stores now it's not 1748 shooting Bambi is not paramount to your survival ( and no I'm not an anti-gun nut ) again nothing against people that hunt it just seems to me these days there are much easier ways to get your next meal or that new rug in front of your fireplace.
Journey:
Maybe it's a drunk white chick thing at 1AM in your local bar,or I have absolutely no ear for music but I don't understand this idea that "Don't Stop Believing " is this great song that holds up over time. It's overrated and to be honest if that's their best work we have but way too much stock into them. I'm a Styx " Renegade " type of guy but I'll let you decide for yourself..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcjzHMhBtf0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXhuso4OTG4
actually I'm gonna let this play out for a sec before I continue * currently rocking out to Styx back in a minute * ok back so lets continue...
Chili Cheese Fries:
Are we so arrogant to think that the perfect snack & side dish somehow needed improvement ? The french fry might be god's perfect food.. When cooked to the perfect crispiness it can't be matched and is a perfect dance partner for almost any entree but yet we had to go & fuck it up with stuff that belongs on a pile of nachos. It's like telling Kat Dennings " ok your tits are good but they would look a lot better with a tattoo of a lama across them " it's unneeded and a blemish on an already perfect creation.
look at these things ruined :/
again not mad but don't understand how these 2 things could be any better than the way they were intended.
The Salary Cap:
It's confusing, overrated & people cheat it and find work arounds all the time so why have it ? Oh that's right it keeps things fair.. Because he in sports who always spends the most money always wins right ? Nope If Billionaires want to foolishly spend millions on high priced free agents let them it's their money to do with as they please. " Small market teams can't compete !!! " so what hate to say it but that's their problem. In a country built on free enterprise how would you like it if some governing body at your job put a limit on how much you can make just to keep the competition in buisness.. they don't do that and you wouldn't like it.. so why is it ok in sports ?
Just don't get that notion.
Why anyone would have a house pet that's been featured on National Geographic ?
One day I will shed my mortal coil as we all will, and hopefully it's in a painless way at very ripe old age. But you know how it wont happen ? Because my pet monkey or pet tiger decided to eat my face off !! Were cats, dogs, parrots, small fish not good enough ? Who was watching National Geographic one night and thought to themselves " I would let one of them sleep in my room at night " pointing to the tiger on the screen dining on zebra and picking it's teeth with a gazelle bone.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xH_d8ymHwxo
I mean I'm all for giving an a****l a good home but let's use some common sense !!
The Obligatory Feet Guy in Cam Shows !:
Last but certainly not least is this donkey.. you know the guy just when the show is getting good, the girl has her toy all up in there about 30 seconds from ruining her sheets & and I'm about to put another dollar into the pockets of the paper towel moguls.. this guy pipes up. " Plz BB show little bit ur feet " Why ? I know we all have our fetish and I'm not going to shame anybody for it.. And I know there are tons of you that will tell me about all the eroganous zones there probably are on your feet but trust me I don't understand ! To me feet always have and always will serve a practical purpose !! Meant for walking, dancing, or a swift blow to someone's head or ass crack. I don't think when we came off the assembly line the thought was " Man I tell you it's a good thing we got these things where else we gonna put our cocks"
if that gets you off more power to you, but I'm more of a Nancy Sinatra guy :P
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbyAZQ45uww
And that's just what I'll do until next time I'm hungry and done rambling
11年前
