Getting something off my chest
This is the first time I have used social media at all much less to discuss my sexuality. It's something I've wanted to tell someone, but not anyone I knew.
I grew up and continue to be an effeminate homophobe. My homophobia extends only to the public. If someone I knew made a gay slur, I would pretend to have no problem with it. My body language, eye for fashion, and sissy voice makes people wonder if I'm gay. When I was hit on by a gay guy the first time, just after high school, I was flushed with embarrassment and told him I didn't roll that way. This was in public at a very straight bar. What he didn't know I had gone to the local porn video arcade more than one time to get my ass fucked and my dick sucked anonymously.
I have accepted that I'm bisexual. But never to a friend, co-worker or neighbor. Given the choice, I'll take a girl 100 times out of a 100. At an early age as a teen (1980s) the easiest way for me to get someone else to get the cum out of my balls for free was at the arcade. I was young and handsome but really shy around chicks. So much so that most of my girlfriends started the physical part of our relationship.
Turns out, I liked getting fucked in the ass too. That first time I dropped my pants, spread my legs and surrendered my asshole to a hard dick, it was amazing. After about five minutes of hard pounding I couldn't feel anything below my waist. I was just tingling. I looked down at my turtled cock, a long strand of precum was touching the floor. I was having a mild orgasm. The best was yet to come. This guy fucked me for about fifteen minutes before I asked him to cum because I was so numb. He did. The blast was amazing. I never gave thought to the amazing sensation of warmth that a cum blast provides. But I had given that same sensation to chicks hundreds of times without knowing.
This is the only way I have had anonymous sex. There are no girls at the arcade. I'm not into the pick up scene. If a girl just wanted me to be her fuck stick, I would be all in. But if I actually got to know who she was, I would come to care for her and want more from the relationship. That's not an issue at the arcade. I can't kiss or fuck a man. (My first choice with girls is always anal.) With a man, I never make eye contact or look above the waist. I can only suck dick long enough to get it hard to fuck me. I do like a dick in my mouth for a few minutes. There is no doubt however, that guys who enjoy sucking cock are the best at it. Nothing feels better than sitting down watching big tit anal porn with a belly full of warm jizz, throbbing asshole and getting an expert blowjob. But I don't have any interest in a relationship with a man. I don't want to hold hands or ask how his day was. Please don't hate me for this. I have hate in my heart for no one. Maybe you don't care.
I don't know if writing this will make me feel any different. Thanks for reading and I welcome your thoughts.
Peace.
I grew up and continue to be an effeminate homophobe. My homophobia extends only to the public. If someone I knew made a gay slur, I would pretend to have no problem with it. My body language, eye for fashion, and sissy voice makes people wonder if I'm gay. When I was hit on by a gay guy the first time, just after high school, I was flushed with embarrassment and told him I didn't roll that way. This was in public at a very straight bar. What he didn't know I had gone to the local porn video arcade more than one time to get my ass fucked and my dick sucked anonymously.
I have accepted that I'm bisexual. But never to a friend, co-worker or neighbor. Given the choice, I'll take a girl 100 times out of a 100. At an early age as a teen (1980s) the easiest way for me to get someone else to get the cum out of my balls for free was at the arcade. I was young and handsome but really shy around chicks. So much so that most of my girlfriends started the physical part of our relationship.
Turns out, I liked getting fucked in the ass too. That first time I dropped my pants, spread my legs and surrendered my asshole to a hard dick, it was amazing. After about five minutes of hard pounding I couldn't feel anything below my waist. I was just tingling. I looked down at my turtled cock, a long strand of precum was touching the floor. I was having a mild orgasm. The best was yet to come. This guy fucked me for about fifteen minutes before I asked him to cum because I was so numb. He did. The blast was amazing. I never gave thought to the amazing sensation of warmth that a cum blast provides. But I had given that same sensation to chicks hundreds of times without knowing.
This is the only way I have had anonymous sex. There are no girls at the arcade. I'm not into the pick up scene. If a girl just wanted me to be her fuck stick, I would be all in. But if I actually got to know who she was, I would come to care for her and want more from the relationship. That's not an issue at the arcade. I can't kiss or fuck a man. (My first choice with girls is always anal.) With a man, I never make eye contact or look above the waist. I can only suck dick long enough to get it hard to fuck me. I do like a dick in my mouth for a few minutes. There is no doubt however, that guys who enjoy sucking cock are the best at it. Nothing feels better than sitting down watching big tit anal porn with a belly full of warm jizz, throbbing asshole and getting an expert blowjob. But I don't have any interest in a relationship with a man. I don't want to hold hands or ask how his day was. Please don't hate me for this. I have hate in my heart for no one. Maybe you don't care.
I don't know if writing this will make me feel any different. Thanks for reading and I welcome your thoughts.
Peace.
11年前
