June 2014

Lots of things have happened since my last blog post (http://xhamster.com/user/TMandrake/posts/237003.html).

We got a nursery ready, attended birthing classes, purchased the collected works of Dr. Suess, even had a baby shower in which our friends and family got about 80% of everything we registered for. We had clothes picked out for both boy or girl (we didn't find out about the sex of the c***d before hand - our parents didn't, why should we?). We had a support system in place for any eventuality.

I had mixed feelings. I was ready to become a stay-at-home dad. I practiced changing diapers, the proper way to rock the baby to sleep, how to mix formula for feedings, even signed up for a stay-at-home support group. I was calm, excited, scared out of my mind.

My petite wife grew to the size of a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon. She never complained, even when the pain caused by her fibroid tumors complicated matters. Under the careful supervision of the doctors in the hospital, they got her through one crisis after another. I was never more proud or deeper in love with her during these last few weeks.


On June 3rd, the pain was so great that an emergency C-section was ordered. As they wheeled both the mother and father into the surgical suite, both of us experienced a calm that neither of us could explain. It enveloped us and as we looked into each other's eyes, we knew we would get through this together.

Our son, David Kevin Mandrake, was stillborn. We held him for as long as they allowed us.
The pain is unbearable. We are devastated.

Please send out good thoughts or prayers.

Thanks for reading. I wish you peace.