Edging Away From Virginity

FROM TABOO TO MUNDANE
Sharing graphic images of sex over the internet and openly discussing them horrified me for years! The thought of participating in on-line sex forums like xHamster’s Personal Messaging and Friending brought visions of the Vice Squad knocking at my door… In my early years pornography was a crime. Today’s relaxed public attitude towards sexually explicit literature was a long time coming, and it took even longer for me to get comfortable with it... Some hesitant wading into xHamster’s ocean of on-line social networking actually resulted in personal contact! This is the true story of a 60+ year old male virgin (me) meeting a bright young woman in her mid-20s, brought together by a mutual attraction to porn. I hope this story demonstrates, contrary to US Supreme Court pronouncements, that pornography DOES have “redeeming social importance”.

SEX IS A TOUCHY SUBJECT…
We all come into this world through no choice of our own, and most of us seem to be saddled with powerful sexual urges that can’t be ignored. I was born horny! Sex always had to be kept in the closet for me... Not long after I learned to walk, I recall waking up in the morning with an erection. I went into the kitchen, showed it to my mother, and asked her what it was. Mom scoldingly hissed that my little stiff meant I needed to go to the bathroom! The repulsive pressure from Mom to immediately vacate her kitchen was unspoken but heavy, palpable, and instantly understood… This and subsequent encounters with sexuality demonstrated to me what a touchy and dangerous topic it was and largely still is when it’s up close and in person. Now, however, it’s possible to be safely separated from other folks over the internet while sharing intimate details of sexuality. One no longer needs to be close enough to know and touch people while engaging in vivid, graphic conversations about sex. Horny people today can be secure and comfortable while finding others of a similar mind. Hugely magnified sexual openness has been facilitated by today’s electronic sharing of videos, pictures, literature, and by various forms of messaging.

CHASTITY HAS ITS ADVANTAGES!
Do you want to avoid trouble? I sure do! One completely reliable strategy to eliminate c***d support headaches, to bypass Herpes, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, AIDS, and other annoying, dangerous sexually transmitted diseases, and to avoid involuntary servitude in a lose-lose relationship with an incompatible person is simple: Boycott sex! Chastity is a 100% effective escape from these nightmares which plague so many of our brothers and sisters.

MASTURBATION WITHIN CHASTITY
Masturbation and erotic fantasies are fairly well accepted as a healthy and common part of just about everybody’s sex life these days. They formed my ENTIRE sex life from the time Mom bounced my toddler ass to the bathroom for exposing my tiny hard-on. Yes, by the way, the masturbation habit began for me at toddler age. As a teen, I discovered a treasure trove of paperback sex books secreted by my father in a brown paper bag on his closet floor. One title was The Happy Hooker by Xaviera Hollander, an excellent book that I would recommend even today. There were some pseudo-scientific sex studies that looked more like pornography to me than science. There were a bunch of Playboy and similar men’s magazines… Soon after my father died, that well studied library disappeared forever… The likelihood is that Mom threw the whole brown paper bagged package in the trash… Pictures and stories circumscribed by such pornography catalyze sexual urges of horny people into action! Masturbation satisfies. Fantasies and satisfaction are magnified and enhanced when graphic images supplement self-stimulation.

PORN AS A FREQUENT COMPANION DURING *********CE AND BEYOND
Since those teen years, porn has always fascinated me. In the 1980s as an adult I occasionally ventured into my local porn cinema (the “Pussycat” theater, which has since been demolished) to view such now classic features as Deep Throat, Reel People, Taboo I and II and others. These feature films were revolutionary! They allowed acting out and sharing of common sexual fantasies on an industrial scale! Today, digital graphics and free on-line sharing of ordinary people acting out their sexual fantasies raises openness to a whole new level! It seems an altogether healthy pursuit to me. As practiced on xHamster, with a lot of value placed on adding comments to sexual material, there is a tremendous potential for dialogue and life-affirming education.

PORNOGRAPHIC SOCIAL NETWORKING
Once an on-line porn fan is well grounded in navigation through the amazing panorama of free graphic sharing available today, perhaps the next level is intelligent dialogue with other fans. Comments to video and photo uploads, comments to user profiles, and especially dialogue via Private Messages (“PMs”) can all be rewarding and enlightening. Sure, there are plenty of vulgar, insulting, and unintelligent comments out there… That bad stuff is easily ignored! The safe separation provided by the internet secures the sharing and personal communication that is so valuable. “Friend” status on xHamster can be a bit different from non-porn mainstream social networking sites (like FaceBook). A safe separation is maintained, but xHamster doesn’t provide a practical gradation of access based on friendship status. I make nearly all of my own uploads and my collections of favorites that others have uploaded visible to any logged on xHamster member (and in most cases to the public) because settings require an all-or-nothing choice in sharing… My collection of Friends allows me to keep track of people with whom I have some common interests. The main value of “Friending” on xHamster to me is discovering similar minded users by association. Searching through lists of Friends of existing Friends will frequently reward with discoveries! I welcome all Friend Requests as an opportunity to build a personal network, sometimes to start meaningful dialogues, and to discover videos and photos which resonate with me within the “Favorites” collections of others.

ON-LINE DIALOGUE LEADS TO ACTUAL MEETING
One especially meaningful dialogue between myself and another xHamster user began with a Friend Request that I sent while she was on line. She came right back with a PM challenging me to provide more information! This led to an exciting extended dialogue in real time and a further challenge to me about acting out some of my favorite fantasies! I didn’t hold out too much hope that we would ever meet, but I was absolutely ready to experiment with some female domination and strap-on sex. Making it so was a pursuit that I devoted serious attention and resources towards, and a series of meetings did occur! Those encounters were exciting and, of course, educational.

PRELIMARIES AND EXPLORATION
The attribute which strongly attracted me to this woman was her intelligence. She knew what she wanted and maintained an insightful dialogue. At first I think the novelty of an older male virgin captured her curiosity. The themes of love versus sex came under discussion, and it seemed that she was comfortable sharing some sex, but love relationships did not work for her… The reverse seemed to be true for me… After a while, she seemed to be getting bored and the whole thing might have ended right there! When I mentioned that as a teen I had secretly explored anal sex with a lubricated candle inserted during masturbation, she responded that she had used “the other end of a screwdriver”… She decided that we should at least meet. She was scheduled to visit my locale for a vacation, and was willing to make some time for a visit. She declined my offer to meet her at the airport and provide transportation, but seemed to leave the possibility open for acting out some strap-on sex. Gender bending behavior by men was a turn-on for her! I had a LOT of fun purchasing and occasionally wearing women’s panties in the run-up to her visit. I obtained enema equipment and practiced with it. With this self-training, I developed skill enough to use it fairly effectively. I still have a lot to learn about enemas, though… Sex toy purveyor Good Vibrations, a local favorite, was the source for a pair of good quality butt-plugs, which I faithfully trained with. I visited Mr. S Leather in San Francisco a couple of times because they sell Liquid Silk lubricant at a good price and have an AMAZING variety of sex toys, equipment, and related items on display. Without the prospect of personally meeting a woman who enjoys some gender role exchange, this pioneering exploration would not have occurred…

FIRST MEETING
As the time for her visit drew nearer, my bright and hot young friend changed her mind about my transportation offer. Hopefully she was convinced that I was gentle and submissive, not a dangerous, menacing Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde character. To help her recognize me at the airport terminal, I sent a full body picture of myself in the clothes I would wear when I met her. She provided me a description of the clothing she was wearing via a text message the day of her flight. I had seen images of her naked breasts and pussy, but never her face, so I wasn’t sure who to look for. I was hoping she would recognize me and introduce herself. I stopped at the florist en route to the airport, and was holding a big bunch of Mini-Carnations as many, many passengers filed out of the security area to pick up their baggage. Finally they were all gone, and I hadn’t seen anybody who matched my understanding of her description! Dismayed, I tried calling her cell phone. She answered! It turned out that the look on my face wasn’t smiling, friendly, and inviting plus she wasn’t expecting to see flowers, so she got nervous and walked right past me. She was waiting nearby, painfully shy person-to-person, very bright minded, and exuding an earthy beauty of the sort admired by men and envied by women. Once we began to talk face-to-face she seemed to trust me enough to accept the flowers and the ride from the airport to the place she was staying. I can only imagine the disquiet (and maybe even terror) in the mind of a woman who makes plans with a strange man over the internet when confronted face-to-face by an actual person who is not quite what she expected… Over the duration of her stay, I hope I proved myself to be a respectful and gentle person. The difference between this woman and all others I have dealt with over my lifetime was our agreement that the topic of SEX was important to us both, and that civilized but open face-to-face discussion of sexual matters was appropriate and important. She did not disappoint. Her dominant personality was nevertheless very pleasant, and I was thrilled to have the opportunity to learn from her. After helping her with her gear, I was pleased to drop her off to begin her planned vacation activities as I drove away…

IMPROMPTU BREAKFAST AND LOCAL TOUR
The day my young woman friend had designated for a meeting arrived. No firm plans had been made, and I was purposely trying to avoid pestering her for attention; I absolutely did not want to pressure her into any activities that she wasn’t excited about. On the spur of the moment, we decided to go to breakfast. I picked her up and we drove to one of my favorite diners. There were many things to talk about, and afterwards we drove through some of the local neighborhoods where I had grown up and I provided a guided tour through quite a broad cross section of East San Francisco Bay Area living. Sex didn’t come up for any major discussion, and there certainly wasn’t time to begin any “acting out”. I had actually predicted this in advance! The story of my lifelong relationship with women is cordiality and respect with the total fear and avoidance of sex! More of the same safe, predictable interaction was fine with me, and I was not disappointed to remain securely within my lifelong comfort zone.

SOME INTIMACY DURING SUBSEQUENT MEETING
A couple of days later, my young woman friend wanted to visit my living space. We both have pet cats, and she wanted to meet my longtime feline companion. If she was going to be interested in trying some sex, this was the only chance... Thus, I spent a full hour cleansing my colon with my enema equipment so I would be prepared. While I was getting ready, she was riding public transportation to a stop nearby. Time was short, and it was good for both of our schedules to stop by another local breakfast spot on the way to my place, and we did that. She later related to me about having been warned that visiting a man’s home as a woman alone was risky. Presumably I had convinced her of my gentle character and non-aggressive outlook, and she WANTED to visit. My cat, however, is VERY skittish with strangers; she was adopted off the street as a near-feral kitten. Thus, the idea of meeting my cat turned out to be a disappointment. Kitty hid from her, and streaked to another safe hiding spot when I tried to coax her out for a visit…

Like Kitty, I was a bit nervous myself, and she also must have felt a few pangs of fear given the warnings she had received. She didn’t reveal any disquiet to me though, and she knew I was longing to try out a little sex. She offered me her breasts, and encouraged me to pull them out of her bra and stretchy top. I was too timid and gentle to force her ample bosoms out, so she did it for me! Everything that happened was under her control… I think she enjoyed it when I took up the offer to play with her tits, including some gentle nibbling and sucking. I was in heaven! She asked if I wanted to explore more of her body. I asked about pussy, but that was off limits, and I was not bold enough to reach down and grope through her trousers. Next, she asked me to remove my clothing. I stripped down to the women’s stretch bikini panties I was wearing. She reached for my cock and balls package, but caught herself and asked if she could touch me. The answer OF COURSE was yes, and we pulled the panties off.

The feeling of a gentle, loving hand manipulating both my hardening penis and scrotum sack was ECSTASY! Before we met, her stated goal was providing me with an orgasm. As incredibly hot and exciting as this hand job was, I was embarrassed at not quickly hardening up with a real erection. (Had I been allowed access to her pussy, especially to intimately explore, lick, and suck, I suspect that I might have been ROCK HARD!) The hand job was not likely to produce an orgasm… Thus, this sexually experienced, dominant woman who is nearly 40 years younger than me directed me to get out my butt plug! I gladly obeyed, but suggested that a dildo-like candle would probably be a better choice for anal play than a short butt plug. I got it out, covered it with a condom, and gave her a couple of rubber gloves along with my container of Liquid Silk lubricant. She gently worked the dildo into my “man pussy” and ran a few slow, short strokes. I was in the doggy position on top of my bed… I’m not sure if she brought her strap-on dildo along on the trip. If so, she didn’t use it. The candle wasn’t going all the way in. I had practiced with it, and KNEW that it could go all the way (about 8 inches), so I volunteered to demonstrate that. This is where the session ran off the tracks…

NOTHING SUCCEEDS LIKE FAILURE…
I needed to shift positions in order to reach around and manipulate the candle/dildo with my hand. Before I could get my hand on this highly lubricated object, it popped right out! Along with it came some waste material from my colon, and that seemed to kill the mood completely… Even though the enema had certainly left me clean inside, time had elapsed and a meal had been eaten. I showed her my enema equipment, and she pointedly instructed me that the single-use saline enema kits from the d**g store are what work well, and that is what I should have used! I’m not so sure that a saline enema, which is after all mildly hazardous, would have avoided the problem, but if another opportunity for some fem-dom anal play comes up, I’ll certainly give that cleansing technique a try… Perhaps my high fiber vegetarian eating habits were working against me too, though I had tried to adjust my diet to be in a fasting state when I met her that day. This, however, left me hungry! When we went to breakfast I ate heartily thinking that I couldn’t digest that food fast enough to pollute the lower end of my intestinal tract… Live and learn, I guess! This was the end of the sex play… No orgasm was achieved, but that didn’t matter to me! This was a TREMENDOUS leap forward in my sex life! We moved on from there, and I walked my young woman friend the short distance back to where she could catch public transportation to her lodgings. We parted amicably. I was THRILLED with the sex experience she provided for me and told her so.

BACK TO THE AIRPORT & HINDSIGHT
Three or four days later the vacation was over for my sexy, intelligent, young woman friend. A ride back to the airport saved her some time and trouble. In the vehicle on the way to the airport we chatted a bit about relationships, love, and being alone. I remarked that living alone is easier for males, and she surprised me by agreeing right away and citing the social pressure that women feel to be in a relationship and to become mothers. Our initial discussion via xHamster Personal Messages focused on my relative comfort with love relationships and aversion to sex, versus the opposite for her. So far she has opted for independence, and I hope it will work for her in spite of social pressures… It was a great pleasure to find ways to enhance this wonderful woman’s visit! While some men might scoff at the minimal sexual contact that she graced me with, to me it was a HUGE experience because it was literally my first time acting out ANY sex with another person!

I hope my young woman friend’s curiosity about a 60+ year old virgin male was satisfied, and that she will take away long term benefit from our meetings beyond the few small gifts and the assistance with transportation that I was pleased to offer.

My own outlook towards sex probably has not changed much due to this experience. The work-to-reward ratio for the anal play and petting resulting from our encounter was high. An occasional fling when the opportunity presents itself may be worth the occasional effort. Meanwhile, the masturbation and fantasy I’ve practiced over several decades continues to be a very practical way to channel the strong sexual energy I was born with. In fact, I think I would go so far as to say that fantasy induced masturbation reinforced with on-line sharing by people who are able to act out similar sexual fantasies is more exciting and more satisfying than the real thing! Perhaps the day will arrive when I too might be in a position to act out and share… I hope so! One important lesson for the future is that sex play suffers if there isn’t time to go slow and easy. Especially as a complete novice, I think it’s important to be relaxed and take plenty of time with lovemaking.

Finally, I hope this story has demonstrated that redeeming social importance comes along with today’s easily available multimedia pornography. Rather than instigating unhealthy, socially destructive behavior, I believe that the on-line sexually explicit social networking of this story brought two people together in a beneficial way. We both struggled outside of our normal comfort zones. I learned from the experience, and I’m confident that my young woman friend also gained. Sexuality is a wild b**st that must be kept contained and out of sight most of the time. We faced that untamed a****l, brought it out into the open to party with us, and did not allow it to get out of control. Explicit on-line sexual sharing backed us up, providing knowledge and familiarity to cope with a wild thing which is too often dangerous and unpredictable.

Thank you for reading, and I invite you to leave comments.