Dear 18-year-old: WelCUM 2 Joys of Porn Addiction

Like many of us, you probably started consuming Porn waaay before you were legally supposed to, but now that you've turned 18, you can do so legally and REALLY dive in and develop a hardcore Porn Habit that will hopefully last you the rest of your life.
WelCUM to the Joys of Porn Addiction.
Here's are its advantages:
1) - First and foremost, you can have virtual sex anytime you want with HUNDREDS of breathtakingly gorgeous, PERFECT 10 Porn Whores like, to name just a few, MADISON IVY

ALETTA OCEAN

and KAGNEY LINN KARTER

2) - Compare them to the females you can have sex with in real life. Nuff said.

3) - As a Porn Addict, you can virtually indulge in the most SIK, DEPRAVED, DECADENT, UN-NATURAL sexual acts ever known to man. DOUBLE PENETRATIONS

Even SIKER, DOUBLE ANALS

CUM FARTING

and degrading BUKKAKES, among many other take-no-prisoners pornographic perversions.

4) - Compare that to "dating," where, after blowing a week's paycheck on some unremarkable, plain-jane, overweight cow, you're lucky to get a kiss on the cheek. And after that unsatisfying date, you're only going to go home horny as hell and whack-off to porn anyway, right? Again, the advantages of Porn Addiction are obvious.

5) - Related to #4, real girls will ALWAYS disappoint you. They won't put out, they'll take your $$, they'll dump your ass and they'll break your heart. They're all neurotic anyway. Porn Whores NEVER will disappoint you. They are there for you 24/7 365 ALWAYS dependable. Furthermore, unlike real girls, they know and accept a female's place in life: to be HOT SLUTS who were born to make males CUM. Real girls AREN'T your friends. Porn Whores are. Porn Whores are all you'll ever need.

6) - Finally, virtual Porn Sex is the safest sex there is. You'll never catch any sexually transmitted diseases like herpes or God forbid, ***, from your hand. Contrast that to some skanky pussy. You NEVER know what's lurking inside.

Besides being perfectly natural, masturbation has many health benefits (reduces stress, your odds of prostate cancer later in life, etc.) And most of all, to state the obvious, blowing loads feels GREAT:)


So, dear 18-year-old, celebrate your newfound legal status and really dive into the Wonderful World of Porn Addiction. If you've been just a casual user up until now, time to get SERIOUS and develop a habit you'll NEVER be able to break. If you're already a hopeless addict, dive in deeper. Don't let ANYONE keep you from your Porn Dreams - not your parents, your peers or most of all those despicable NoFap lunatics.

And enjoy for the rest of your life, THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of deep, sack-draining, soul-satisfying CUM BOMBS while GOONING to the nastiest porn you can find. Ahhh, the Joy of Porn Addiction:)