What changed me. #4

My new day had begun in a flurry of activity that was not my natural behaviour. Sore feet rendered my walking pace to a mere crawl. A black Taxi ride to my by now very worried friends was beckoning. So I hailed a taxi and the relief to finally sit down on the comfortable hard fake leather seat was immense. I had achieved no material gain , but the mental benefits were enormous and the load had been lifted from my shoulders. As I pulled up Katja was at the window and immediately ran for the door, the hug I got was unexpected but so genuine, the emotion oozed as I realised these are true friends. She was worried that something sinister would have led me to top myself, in some ways now I can see where she was coming from. The last time 14 hours earlier I was certainly not myself and in hindsight I should have been more aware of their feelings, but sometimes you need that time alone to sort out a confused mind. The hot shower that followed was liberating, the soapy water running over my breasts and down my body was like washing all the filth away and cleansing my skin. The renewal was complete, the old me consigned to Londons vast sewers. Karl was gone to work, but Katja duly informed him of my arrival while I washed. I thanks god that I had them to fall back on. My son still sleeping was oblivious to my mental ordeal, but welcomed a mothers hug. Now it was just him and me, what would the rest of the day hold for me. But i knew that I was not going to hang about here and my life work was going to be far away from this concrete jungle, well in reality just exchanging one concrete jungle for another. I was looking west. My green card was still valid, was this my opportunity, my place of refuge, my new home. I dont think I really thought that much about it. It was a 2 one way tickets from LHR to JFK. Where could I go and just get away, as far away as I could and still provide for my boy. I know the land of opportunity does not have street paved in gold, but I am no stranger to work and it opened up a whole variety of possibility's for me. Impulsive behaviour like this can have devastating repercussions, but to this day I have no regrets.