I need to be more addicted

I have been a compulsive masturbator since I was 7, addicted to porn since I was 13. I crave it even as I am watching it. Porn is the source of all pleasure and happiness. I worship it with every fiber of my being. I am miserable when my hand is not sliding up and down my cock, with porn feeding into my brain. I love having no control over it, the risks it pushes me to take to feed my addiction. I love porn more than I love my wife and family. My wife can never compete with porn, and my family can never bring me the happiness that porn does.

I need to be more addicted though. How can I accomplish that? It's not enough that it controls me. I crave being so deep into porn addiction that I am lost to the world. I want to not even be able to function unless my hand is tugging on my cock and porn is feeding into my brain, I have to be able to twist and warp my mind more. Who can help me?