Who the hell am i?

There is so much division in the trans* community and also discrimination. I have walked that path and know of its destructiveness. Since coming out as a trans* woman 13 years ago I have felt like I never really fit into the "community." For a group so marginalised it seems we attack each other internally for petty reasons that make me laugh. No wonder as a movement we move so little.

All I can be certain of is that I was born in the wrong body. When I tried to voice this as a c***d I was punished. There was no available information on such matters back then. I didn't understand why I felt like a girl, let alone my family. So I repressed it and my dressing became a fetish for a while. The only time I could dress was privately so it became linked with sex and masturbation.

Through my teens I began to learn more about what I was and how to fix myself. Sadly I continued to try and mask it as society expected that from me. Eventually I found the courage to transition. Or should I say had no choice because it was either do it or kill myself.

Once I came out I was confronted by other trans* women who questioned my attraction to women. They laughed at me for not being into men. I found women and trans* women attractive but men did nothing for me. I even tried to date men to fit in but it made no sense to me. Eventually I stopped giving a fuck and decided I'd fuck who I like and enjoy everything else without fear and repression.

So these days I'm Everysexual. If I'm attracted to the person, it doesn't matter who or what they are. As long as they make me happy! I've dated men, women, trans* women, trans* men and cd's.

So I have a fetish for hosiery. This began due to the c***dhood repression and link with sex from an early age. I have suffered a lot of fear from this fetish. Scared that TS women will say I'm not a real trans* woman. Scared women will think I'm a pervert. These days I could give a fuck. I feel nice in stockings and pantyhose so why would something that makes me feel nice be so bad?

I live as a female and have for 13 years. I have worn hosiery to work, parties and just out and about. It doesn't mean I'm constantly horny because I wear them. But if I'm involved sexually with someone and we both wear them well it gets me super excited and the sex is better for both parties.

I find also from my experiences with crossdressers that they love the clothing and the soft, sexy feelings that come from wearing silky stuff. So it's easier to express that side of me with them than just fucking. I don't feel so judged, instead share a common feeling. If that makes any sense?

So I'm going to share some of my experiences in the next few blogs that I've had with crossdressers as a trans* woman.

Hope you enjoy!!!

B x