Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics

Once upon a time, in a galaxy very close to here, I was a statistician. Not the most exciting job in the world but also not the most boring. I was young and innocent and a very different person to who I am now.

I was recently applying for jobs and noticed a similar position to that which I formerly was had been advertised with a salary roughly three times what I had previously earned. So it got me thinking about how much I had changed as a human.

Obviously I am much older now.

Fitter, yes. Balder, yes. Filthier, yes. Morally corrupt, yes. Religiously bankrupt, yes.

But I would only trade the second one in the list, which may come as a shock to some.

Because you see the others have left me with a confidence that directs me to pleasure. In the main it is a selfish, egocentric pursuit of sex. Every so often it is releasing people from the mundane existence that I was also trapped in, the one that stifles so many of us.

I help them act out their fantasies. Whether it's been the filthy minded lover of group sex from England, the cute Romanian who wanted to try anal on our second date, the beautiful Phillippina who needed to hear my apology for behaving in a cruel way to another in much the same vein that her Dutch boyfriend had done to her, the gorgeous Egyptian who opened my mind to a different kind of love that still burns deep inside me or the stunning nursing student who needed someone to believe in her as she moved to an alien land.

Not all of them have been sexual connections, not all of them have lasted and, to my eternal shame if I felt such a thing, not all of them are built on truth.

There is one person I am willing to share that truth with. Is it you?