Idk how to date

Had a ***** epiphany Saturday night. I have been on love train since I was 12 with my first real kiss. At 15 I was in a 2 year relationship with my first big waste of time and energy. I have just now noticed that I have either been super single (aka naughty with no hearts and rainbows)or super monogamous in long term situations. Even with my X hubby we had 3 dates then he kinda just never left. I have never dated more than one guy at a time. I have had a few sexual relationships going at same time. But never like dating more than one potential guy I had feelings for consecutively. I would like to say it's because of vanilla social rules and maybe in part that's true. But it is also me , my heart the way I love ; loyalty and devotion are not just words to me. In my head I understand that the point of dating is to build on your attraction to find out if you are compatible. I just realizing that at 40 I have no idea how to DATE. I either close of my heart completely or open it too much. I have no idea how to work the middle road. And that just because I embrace my feelings 100% when I get them doesn't mean my partners do or even should. Each person is different, has different needs, values in a mate. Good lord how can I expect any one to love me the way I need if I can't learn to love them their way in return? Past few months my life has been emotional chaos and simply because I don't know how to just date ,how ridiculous is that?