The Urge to Purge
Funny thing about Crossdressing, the love of the silk, the satin, the lace, can be balanced with most
intense feelings of guilt. Then in a fit you clean out, because you tell yourself you are going to go
straight. Clean up your act and all that stuff. So bags of carefully gathered items are consigned to
the waste bin of life. Unfortunately, as I have progressed through life I have realised that
crossdressing and association with womens lingerie is not a phase, it is just part of me.
Alright, I admit it – it’s a sexual thrill. It’s not a desire to transition or anything like that. It’s the joy of
obtaining the lingerie, frolicking your fingers through the racks of panties, the purchase, the
anticipation of wearing. Perhaps “underdressing” for the day at work or play, then finally the alone
time to enjoy the relief. Then it starts again.
Anyway, the Purge. This is not the first time – the one prior to that was for a house move. So
everything not only had to be culled, but also carefully packed in that one box you could move
without notice. Garage tools….
In my Purge this last time were Simone Perele sets bras and panties, Rago six strap garter belt, slips,
satin, lace and Tactel panties, Camisoles some with matching panties, Victoria Secrets bras and
panties, stockings, pantyhose. A sexy little tennis dress… G-strings, boyshorts, hi-cuts, lo-cuts.
The collection went in a fit of guilt. Then more guilt a day later when I realised what I had done!
Then slowly the real you emerges. It taps you on the shoulder like a little version of yourself in a pair
of slinky stockings, satin panties, and a bra. Maybe even a slinky soft slip. I call her my inner Panty
Goddess or Panty Slut depending what mood she is in. She whispers in your ear,”… remember
the real you includes me…”, because to be a Crossdresser implies there is a softer feminine side
wishing to be expressed. Your love of the feel of lingerie. You love the feel of walking into the
department store and to the “Womens Intimates” Department. It is often at the back of the store to
hide it from the prying eyes of men. As if! Lingerie is the industry MEANT to be seen and felt by
men and to arouse their passions….
And your little voice says to you “...go on just one pair of panties, can’t hurt.” It nags, it weakens, it
cajoles. Then you find yourself in that large anonymous store, drifting towards Lingerie, you brush it.
“Oooh!”, your inner Panty Slut moans – “... feel me wrapped around your cock, your ass. See we
can have lots of nice frilly things, so simple.” Then she giggles. Your eyes run over the desirables, the
new lines, the old favourites. No, you must be strong, you wrench yourself away. She giggles again.
Then on your PC away from prying eyes an old link pops up for Slinky Panties R Us. You click and
think slinky thoughts, but you are strong. So you drift away in a mild daze. Someone walks into the
room and quickly you close the screen hoping you were not seen. But your Pany Goddess now
knows your PC too and she makes sure the sliding adverts now include slinky underthings.com.
Then an opportunity, perhaps a work trip. You walk past that Panties R Us store and your Panty
Goddess coos in your ear again. “Go on, you know I love those (Insert colour size shape here).” You
pick a pair in your size (hoping you haven’t put on some weight), but one is not enough. So maybe
the matching Cami too. The Sales Assistant comes up to you “ Can I help you Sir?” she looks, she
has seen CDs before. She knows them, she tolerates them they are cash in the till.
Your Panty Goddess replies “No I am fine!” and you keep going. After about 5 minutes more you
have put them back, looked again and then picked the same thing three times – for a guy you are
awful girly! Hehe! You head to the counter. The Older Sales Assistant stands there – you sometimes
get a look of ‘I hope they fit you nicely’. Usually just a warm smile and no mention of “I hope she
likes these” probably indicates she knows. She knows you want to slip off those cotton things and
replace them with the slinky stuff running through her fingers right now. Your Panty Slut chimes in,
“Maybe if the ages or circumstances are right she would like to take you to the change rooms and
help you”.
I am certain in a VS store one day buying stockings, the sales assistant KNEW I was buying for myself.
However, I think the sexiest I have ever got was a very good looking late 20’s sales assistant and I
was buying new Tactel men’s undies, good substitute. She obviously liked the feel of them too, coz I
got this wicked little smile from her. My Panty Goddess and Panty Slut were doing High 5’s. Luckily
I was headed to the Lingerie department at the time.
You now have your prize and quickly leave. The cycle has begun again. Ahh well, life is too short to
ignore the things you like.
intense feelings of guilt. Then in a fit you clean out, because you tell yourself you are going to go
straight. Clean up your act and all that stuff. So bags of carefully gathered items are consigned to
the waste bin of life. Unfortunately, as I have progressed through life I have realised that
crossdressing and association with womens lingerie is not a phase, it is just part of me.
Alright, I admit it – it’s a sexual thrill. It’s not a desire to transition or anything like that. It’s the joy of
obtaining the lingerie, frolicking your fingers through the racks of panties, the purchase, the
anticipation of wearing. Perhaps “underdressing” for the day at work or play, then finally the alone
time to enjoy the relief. Then it starts again.
Anyway, the Purge. This is not the first time – the one prior to that was for a house move. So
everything not only had to be culled, but also carefully packed in that one box you could move
without notice. Garage tools….
In my Purge this last time were Simone Perele sets bras and panties, Rago six strap garter belt, slips,
satin, lace and Tactel panties, Camisoles some with matching panties, Victoria Secrets bras and
panties, stockings, pantyhose. A sexy little tennis dress… G-strings, boyshorts, hi-cuts, lo-cuts.
The collection went in a fit of guilt. Then more guilt a day later when I realised what I had done!
Then slowly the real you emerges. It taps you on the shoulder like a little version of yourself in a pair
of slinky stockings, satin panties, and a bra. Maybe even a slinky soft slip. I call her my inner Panty
Goddess or Panty Slut depending what mood she is in. She whispers in your ear,”… remember
the real you includes me…”, because to be a Crossdresser implies there is a softer feminine side
wishing to be expressed. Your love of the feel of lingerie. You love the feel of walking into the
department store and to the “Womens Intimates” Department. It is often at the back of the store to
hide it from the prying eyes of men. As if! Lingerie is the industry MEANT to be seen and felt by
men and to arouse their passions….
And your little voice says to you “...go on just one pair of panties, can’t hurt.” It nags, it weakens, it
cajoles. Then you find yourself in that large anonymous store, drifting towards Lingerie, you brush it.
“Oooh!”, your inner Panty Slut moans – “... feel me wrapped around your cock, your ass. See we
can have lots of nice frilly things, so simple.” Then she giggles. Your eyes run over the desirables, the
new lines, the old favourites. No, you must be strong, you wrench yourself away. She giggles again.
Then on your PC away from prying eyes an old link pops up for Slinky Panties R Us. You click and
think slinky thoughts, but you are strong. So you drift away in a mild daze. Someone walks into the
room and quickly you close the screen hoping you were not seen. But your Pany Goddess now
knows your PC too and she makes sure the sliding adverts now include slinky underthings.com.
Then an opportunity, perhaps a work trip. You walk past that Panties R Us store and your Panty
Goddess coos in your ear again. “Go on, you know I love those (Insert colour size shape here).” You
pick a pair in your size (hoping you haven’t put on some weight), but one is not enough. So maybe
the matching Cami too. The Sales Assistant comes up to you “ Can I help you Sir?” she looks, she
has seen CDs before. She knows them, she tolerates them they are cash in the till.
Your Panty Goddess replies “No I am fine!” and you keep going. After about 5 minutes more you
have put them back, looked again and then picked the same thing three times – for a guy you are
awful girly! Hehe! You head to the counter. The Older Sales Assistant stands there – you sometimes
get a look of ‘I hope they fit you nicely’. Usually just a warm smile and no mention of “I hope she
likes these” probably indicates she knows. She knows you want to slip off those cotton things and
replace them with the slinky stuff running through her fingers right now. Your Panty Slut chimes in,
“Maybe if the ages or circumstances are right she would like to take you to the change rooms and
help you”.
I am certain in a VS store one day buying stockings, the sales assistant KNEW I was buying for myself.
However, I think the sexiest I have ever got was a very good looking late 20’s sales assistant and I
was buying new Tactel men’s undies, good substitute. She obviously liked the feel of them too, coz I
got this wicked little smile from her. My Panty Goddess and Panty Slut were doing High 5’s. Luckily
I was headed to the Lingerie department at the time.
You now have your prize and quickly leave. The cycle has begun again. Ahh well, life is too short to
ignore the things you like.
9年前
