Savage Love: Swinging, Pregnancy and Termination
My husband and I have been happy swingers for four years. Our issue? I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy two years ago, and neither of us has wavered in our desire to remain c***dfree. We know the "father" is the male of a couple we play with regularly. We used protection, of course, but we know these things are never foolproof. We consider ourselves good friends with this couple, but we are not in any sort of "poly" relationship with them. Our question is this: Do we need to tell the couple about what happened and our decision to terminate the pregnancy? We wouldn't ask them to help pay for the procedure, and their feelings on the matter wouldn't change our course of action. We're just unsure about the "swinger etiquette" in this situation.
No Acronym Here
No method of birth control is foolproof—not even a vasectomy. Just like condoms and IUDs and the pill, vasectomies have failure rates. Now, the failure rate for vasectomies, according to the Centers for Disease Control, clocks in at 0.01 percent, which is far, far lower than the failure rate for, say, condoms (3 percent failure rate with "perfect use," 15 percent with "typical use"). But there are numerous documented cases of men who've had vasectomies impregnating their female partners. There are no documented cases two years after a successful vasectomy... but what if your husband's vasectomy wasn't successful?
So it's possible that your husband fertilized that egg, NAH. You can cling to that small possibility and opt not to inform the other couple about your pregnancy and your decision to terminate. But I would urge you to tell them. One in three North American women have had an abortion, NAH, but millions of men don't know that they have benefited from access to safe and legal abortion services because their female partners quietly terminated pregnancies without informing them.
On the off chance that your play buddy is one of those guys who either is against abortion or hasn't given the issue much thought—because he's never needed one—you should let him know that your freedom to choose has directly benefited him and his family. You should also let him know that there's a small chance your husband impregnated you. Either way, you're terminating this pregnancy. recommended
No Acronym Here
No method of birth control is foolproof—not even a vasectomy. Just like condoms and IUDs and the pill, vasectomies have failure rates. Now, the failure rate for vasectomies, according to the Centers for Disease Control, clocks in at 0.01 percent, which is far, far lower than the failure rate for, say, condoms (3 percent failure rate with "perfect use," 15 percent with "typical use"). But there are numerous documented cases of men who've had vasectomies impregnating their female partners. There are no documented cases two years after a successful vasectomy... but what if your husband's vasectomy wasn't successful?
So it's possible that your husband fertilized that egg, NAH. You can cling to that small possibility and opt not to inform the other couple about your pregnancy and your decision to terminate. But I would urge you to tell them. One in three North American women have had an abortion, NAH, but millions of men don't know that they have benefited from access to safe and legal abortion services because their female partners quietly terminated pregnancies without informing them.
On the off chance that your play buddy is one of those guys who either is against abortion or hasn't given the issue much thought—because he's never needed one—you should let him know that your freedom to choose has directly benefited him and his family. You should also let him know that there's a small chance your husband impregnated you. Either way, you're terminating this pregnancy. recommended
9年前
