I'll be back in about ten days
I posted this and somehow I lost the part where I added the link: http://www.isst-d.org/?contentID=76
This actually amuses me. My profile says I've been active 761 days. I think my longest 'vacation' was eight months. I've been back about a month after another 'vacation' that lasted five to eight months. I don't know how many times I took a month of here and there. There was the close call with death from a staph infection that had me incoherent for about two months. Old friends know me so well. I don't even half to name the people who've stayed with me from the beginning. If you just met me, I go missing for at least one week per month. It isn't by choice. If you add it up, this profile has barely been active. I didn't build a page this big in 761 days. I'm too incoherent to do math. I may have only been active for less than 200 days. That still seems like a lifetime. I've met so many incredible people.
There are blogs that explain what is medically wrong with me. It's not easy to understand. I confuse people when I try to explain it. I think people are more confused when they google it. I will never have a problem admitting I'm very bipolar. I have always coped with that issue. I have a dissociative disorder. Wiki gives you the basics of it. I just found a new link that made me really sad because it describes my life. http://www.isst-d.org/?contentID=76 As far as I know I don't have DID. What is wrong with me is so rare I've only seen it mentioned once in a medical journal. A dissociative disorder can cause non-epileptic seizures. I'm not joking when I talk about amnesia. It's hard to prove you have DID. It's even harder to prove that you will drive for hours and snap into awareness with no idea where you are. There is a terrifying moment when you don't know who you are. I am fighting for disability. My case revolves around the inconvenient issues involved with being bipolar. The elephant in the room is ignored.
I gave you the link. I don't want pity, empathy. concern. worry. I'm doing okay. I'm probably one of the strongest bitches you will ever meet. I cope with my problems. I'm honest about them. I'm not hiding anything. Three weeks out of every month I feel incredible. I'm happy. I just want to have fun. I love making people laugh. I love making people feel better. However, I live in america where the health care system is broken.. I'm a single, young, white, college educated woman with no c***dren. You have to understand the system isn't set up to help someone like me. If I had three k**s (like an irresponsible selfish cunt) that I couldn't take care of, the government would shovel money at me. I get nothing. I live with my mom on my dead dad's social security. (she may be more batshit crazy than me). I have mastered the art of poverty like no person you will ever meet. I'm proud of that. When it comes to the cost of medicine, I fall short. Every month around the tenth, I run out of adderall. I can't function without it. My dissociation has turned into something like narcolepsy.
We get our next check between the 17 to the 21. I sleep for about ten days a month. This has gone on for years. I will fix this issue. I'm going to break a few laws. I'm going to go places I never thought I'd go. I'll do things I never thought I'd do. My adventures earning fifty bucks a month for adderall may be fucking hilarious. I am sleeping one-third of my life away. I've got to change that. With all my heart I hope this is the last time I have to say 'I'll be back in about ten days.' I come back with no memory of who I was talking to sometimes. The biggest problem is that people forget about me. I'll get so much hate mail like 'why you no answer message bitch?' If I was a disney princess I'd be sleeping beauty. I will be logged on during this 10 day break. I can't chat with you because I can't think of words. I can't reply to comments because I'll click on your page to respond and forget what you wrote.
I stay logged in because I constantly have to accept friend requests..I have very few things that give me pleasure those ten days. Comments cheer me up. I read messages. I can't reply. I wish I could. Mostly I'll be logged in because I'm hoping to chat with one person. I can chat with dave sometimes. He knows sometimes I speak gibberish. There's one person, that I'm going to fight like hell to stay in touch with. Every artist needs a muse. I'll actually be posting new pics. When I'm able to be awake, editing pictures is my favorite task. I can't explain why. If you read the link you got a huge clue that I don't know what I look like. It's not even funny when a chick with a dissociative disorder goes bald and needs wigs. giggle. It's like God is trying to make me Sybil. I'll also spend the entire ten days masturbating. No joke. I will mostly watch porn and chase the serotonin from orgasms. Masturbation is the only medicine I can afford. I'm sorry that I'm fucking crazy. I always come back better than ever. I think that's the reason people stick with me even though I can't always be the friend they deserve.
I have one pill left. I'm saving it for tomorrow. It's not going to wake me up for very long. I'll probably try to make a video or write a sex story. I enjoy my fucked up life. I love the people who are apart of my fucked up life. I have ten days to think of ways I can beat the system. I'll be thinking of so many people. People I just met. People I've known for years. Quimby, I'll meet you in des moines.
This actually amuses me. My profile says I've been active 761 days. I think my longest 'vacation' was eight months. I've been back about a month after another 'vacation' that lasted five to eight months. I don't know how many times I took a month of here and there. There was the close call with death from a staph infection that had me incoherent for about two months. Old friends know me so well. I don't even half to name the people who've stayed with me from the beginning. If you just met me, I go missing for at least one week per month. It isn't by choice. If you add it up, this profile has barely been active. I didn't build a page this big in 761 days. I'm too incoherent to do math. I may have only been active for less than 200 days. That still seems like a lifetime. I've met so many incredible people.
There are blogs that explain what is medically wrong with me. It's not easy to understand. I confuse people when I try to explain it. I think people are more confused when they google it. I will never have a problem admitting I'm very bipolar. I have always coped with that issue. I have a dissociative disorder. Wiki gives you the basics of it. I just found a new link that made me really sad because it describes my life. http://www.isst-d.org/?contentID=76 As far as I know I don't have DID. What is wrong with me is so rare I've only seen it mentioned once in a medical journal. A dissociative disorder can cause non-epileptic seizures. I'm not joking when I talk about amnesia. It's hard to prove you have DID. It's even harder to prove that you will drive for hours and snap into awareness with no idea where you are. There is a terrifying moment when you don't know who you are. I am fighting for disability. My case revolves around the inconvenient issues involved with being bipolar. The elephant in the room is ignored.
I gave you the link. I don't want pity, empathy. concern. worry. I'm doing okay. I'm probably one of the strongest bitches you will ever meet. I cope with my problems. I'm honest about them. I'm not hiding anything. Three weeks out of every month I feel incredible. I'm happy. I just want to have fun. I love making people laugh. I love making people feel better. However, I live in america where the health care system is broken.. I'm a single, young, white, college educated woman with no c***dren. You have to understand the system isn't set up to help someone like me. If I had three k**s (like an irresponsible selfish cunt) that I couldn't take care of, the government would shovel money at me. I get nothing. I live with my mom on my dead dad's social security. (she may be more batshit crazy than me). I have mastered the art of poverty like no person you will ever meet. I'm proud of that. When it comes to the cost of medicine, I fall short. Every month around the tenth, I run out of adderall. I can't function without it. My dissociation has turned into something like narcolepsy.
We get our next check between the 17 to the 21. I sleep for about ten days a month. This has gone on for years. I will fix this issue. I'm going to break a few laws. I'm going to go places I never thought I'd go. I'll do things I never thought I'd do. My adventures earning fifty bucks a month for adderall may be fucking hilarious. I am sleeping one-third of my life away. I've got to change that. With all my heart I hope this is the last time I have to say 'I'll be back in about ten days.' I come back with no memory of who I was talking to sometimes. The biggest problem is that people forget about me. I'll get so much hate mail like 'why you no answer message bitch?' If I was a disney princess I'd be sleeping beauty. I will be logged on during this 10 day break. I can't chat with you because I can't think of words. I can't reply to comments because I'll click on your page to respond and forget what you wrote.
I stay logged in because I constantly have to accept friend requests..I have very few things that give me pleasure those ten days. Comments cheer me up. I read messages. I can't reply. I wish I could. Mostly I'll be logged in because I'm hoping to chat with one person. I can chat with dave sometimes. He knows sometimes I speak gibberish. There's one person, that I'm going to fight like hell to stay in touch with. Every artist needs a muse. I'll actually be posting new pics. When I'm able to be awake, editing pictures is my favorite task. I can't explain why. If you read the link you got a huge clue that I don't know what I look like. It's not even funny when a chick with a dissociative disorder goes bald and needs wigs. giggle. It's like God is trying to make me Sybil. I'll also spend the entire ten days masturbating. No joke. I will mostly watch porn and chase the serotonin from orgasms. Masturbation is the only medicine I can afford. I'm sorry that I'm fucking crazy. I always come back better than ever. I think that's the reason people stick with me even though I can't always be the friend they deserve.
I have one pill left. I'm saving it for tomorrow. It's not going to wake me up for very long. I'll probably try to make a video or write a sex story. I enjoy my fucked up life. I love the people who are apart of my fucked up life. I have ten days to think of ways I can beat the system. I'll be thinking of so many people. People I just met. People I've known for years. Quimby, I'll meet you in des moines.
9年前
