8 Simple steps for writing an email from a guy who
Update- This should be followed when writing anyone on here.
1) Don’t send a dick pic. Ever. The sole, only, and exclusive reason to send one of those is if you've been asked for one.
2) Read their fucking profile.
a. Read it like your (sex)life depended on it. Does their profile say they’re monogamous and in a relationship? Make note of that, as you’ll need that info later.
b. Do they share an interest with you (that doesn’t involve inserting your tab ‘P’ into their slot ‘V’, ‘M’ or ‘A’)
c.Take notes
3) If their profile says they accept all friend requests, then send a friend request. Odds are they're friend collectors but that doesn't mean they don't have interesting or fun things to see.
a.If their profile indicates require a message prior to any friend request, then skip this step and move to step 4.
4) Peruse their pictures. Comment on them. Let them know what about the image you like.
a.Whatever you do don’t tell them they should submit to you because who the fuck are you to them? Nobody. That’s who.
b. Don’t tell them you’d like to stick Mr. Happy into anything.
c. Likewise, don’t tell them you’d like to put Mr. Tongue into anything
d. Don’t offer suggestions on how the picture would be better if your cock was in it. Even your dick pic would be better without your dick in it.
e. Stop with the excessive commenting/love on pictures. One or two non-sexual comments is probably going to be okay. A comment or love on every. single. fucking. picture. including. their. cat. is definitely going into the ******r zone. You're there to learn what you can glean from the photos, not to make them feel like a piece of meat. Too much is like being the drunk handsy guy at the company Christmas party - everyone's gonna steer clear of you.
f. if in doubt, Just don’t.
5) Remember that info you were supposed to jot down from step 2a? Go get it.
a. If they’re monogamous and there’s someone listed under their profile – enjoy what they share and feel free to comment nicely. Re-read 4a through 4e if you can’t remember.
b. If they say they’re looking for play partners re-read their profile to make sure your dick isn’t playing tricks on your eyes.
6) Write them an original email. Spelling, punctuation and grammar count - even more so than they did in freshman English. If you're unfamiliar with the oxford comma I highly recommend googling it.
a. Copy and paste doesn’t work.
b. They can tell.
c. Women, unlike many men, share information
d. Especially about HotCockDom69ATM and SUBMIT2MENOW
e. Include information about yourself, but keep it short and something you’d be (relatively) ok with your mother/sister/priest/pastor/imam/rabbi reading.
f. Remember all that hard reading and studying you did in step 2 and those notes you took in step 2c? Use them and their profile to find something about them other than their body to share how much you liked that aspect of them. If they write well, let them know. If their pictures are incredible representations of the art of photography let them know.
g. If you can't find something other than their body to comment upon go to k&p and find something to jerk off with. Then you're wasting neither their time or yours.
7) If they don’t respond
a. They’re probably inundated with copy/paste email or
b. Not interested
c. Don’t call them
______1. Bitch
______2. Cunt
______3. Whore
______4. Fake
______5. Anything
d. Accept the fact that they’re probably still wading through HotCockDom69ATM’s 2.3 million one-line emails.
e. Move the fuck on.
8) If they do respond, treat them as a fellow human, because they are. An incredible, kinky, and wonderful human. Don't be a douche-bag canoe.
That's it – 8 (ish) simple steps to follow when writing someone here. Learn it. Use it. Respect them and perhaps, they'll respect you. (Except for HotCockDom69ATM)
1) Don’t send a dick pic. Ever. The sole, only, and exclusive reason to send one of those is if you've been asked for one.
2) Read their fucking profile.
a. Read it like your (sex)life depended on it. Does their profile say they’re monogamous and in a relationship? Make note of that, as you’ll need that info later.
b. Do they share an interest with you (that doesn’t involve inserting your tab ‘P’ into their slot ‘V’, ‘M’ or ‘A’)
c.Take notes
3) If their profile says they accept all friend requests, then send a friend request. Odds are they're friend collectors but that doesn't mean they don't have interesting or fun things to see.
a.If their profile indicates require a message prior to any friend request, then skip this step and move to step 4.
4) Peruse their pictures. Comment on them. Let them know what about the image you like.
a.Whatever you do don’t tell them they should submit to you because who the fuck are you to them? Nobody. That’s who.
b. Don’t tell them you’d like to stick Mr. Happy into anything.
c. Likewise, don’t tell them you’d like to put Mr. Tongue into anything
d. Don’t offer suggestions on how the picture would be better if your cock was in it. Even your dick pic would be better without your dick in it.
e. Stop with the excessive commenting/love on pictures. One or two non-sexual comments is probably going to be okay. A comment or love on every. single. fucking. picture. including. their. cat. is definitely going into the ******r zone. You're there to learn what you can glean from the photos, not to make them feel like a piece of meat. Too much is like being the drunk handsy guy at the company Christmas party - everyone's gonna steer clear of you.
f. if in doubt, Just don’t.
5) Remember that info you were supposed to jot down from step 2a? Go get it.
a. If they’re monogamous and there’s someone listed under their profile – enjoy what they share and feel free to comment nicely. Re-read 4a through 4e if you can’t remember.
b. If they say they’re looking for play partners re-read their profile to make sure your dick isn’t playing tricks on your eyes.
6) Write them an original email. Spelling, punctuation and grammar count - even more so than they did in freshman English. If you're unfamiliar with the oxford comma I highly recommend googling it.
a. Copy and paste doesn’t work.
b. They can tell.
c. Women, unlike many men, share information
d. Especially about HotCockDom69ATM and SUBMIT2MENOW
e. Include information about yourself, but keep it short and something you’d be (relatively) ok with your mother/sister/priest/pastor/imam/rabbi reading.
f. Remember all that hard reading and studying you did in step 2 and those notes you took in step 2c? Use them and their profile to find something about them other than their body to share how much you liked that aspect of them. If they write well, let them know. If their pictures are incredible representations of the art of photography let them know.
g. If you can't find something other than their body to comment upon go to k&p and find something to jerk off with. Then you're wasting neither their time or yours.
7) If they don’t respond
a. They’re probably inundated with copy/paste email or
b. Not interested
c. Don’t call them
______1. Bitch
______2. Cunt
______3. Whore
______4. Fake
______5. Anything
d. Accept the fact that they’re probably still wading through HotCockDom69ATM’s 2.3 million one-line emails.
e. Move the fuck on.
8) If they do respond, treat them as a fellow human, because they are. An incredible, kinky, and wonderful human. Don't be a douche-bag canoe.
That's it – 8 (ish) simple steps to follow when writing someone here. Learn it. Use it. Respect them and perhaps, they'll respect you. (Except for HotCockDom69ATM)
9年前
