Heartbreak

For the past many years, I have pushed people a at. Pushed away everyone for fear of being hurt again. Finally I decided to not push away, and now I have a broken heart. How can my heart feel so broken over someone I have only been speaking to for a week and haven't met in person? It feels like so much longer, like a lifetime. He doesn't want to meet for fear of how it will make us feel when he moves away. He's moving because his ex and daughter are moving. He has nothing to keep him here. I told him I understand, but I still want to meet him. It hurts more for me having never had the chance. This is what I push so hard. I hate this feeling.