A question about cheating

He asked: Hello, I saw your post about not cheating on your husband since you were married. What happened before that? Would you share?

i answered:
Okay… so again, I still haven’t cheated on hubby since we said our wedding vows. It’s very very tempting sometimes, and honestly i’m starting to wonder if I could say “no” to the right man at the right time (or wrong man at the wrong time?).

But before we were married I cheated on him twice. I’ve kinda got to tell you just a bit about my “dating” history first though. That wasn’t the main question though, so i’ll keep it short. As short as i can :)

So i don’t think i ever dated a boy my own age. And for dating was about attention, and very early i got unhealthy attention and healthy attention all tangled up in a ****. I I went from dating (dating is stretching it, i doubt most of them thought of me as a girlfriend) older boys, to bad boys, to older men, to bad men, to any combinations of those I could.

Like i was daring myself each time to get the attention of an older and older man. Or a more and more dangerous man.

I had a sort of a wake up. It was a combination of being pregnant again, and a really close call. And I found hubby, online actually. I purposefully looked for a man that was completely different than anyone i’d been with. About my age. Nice. Romantic. Kind, gentle and shy. I literally picked out the traits that were completely the opposite of every man I’d been with until then.

It was planned that way.

But…. what wasn’t planned was when Mike, one of those older.. dangerous men asked me to stop by his trailer. Yes.. his trailer. He had a record. He was loud and an asshole and arrogant and a jerk. He shared his weed and gave me a drink of something fruity and strong, probably just vodka and fruit juice. He said he heard I was engaged now. Things got a little blurry. I remember it more like still images. Bent over the back of his couch. My mauve skirt that came to about mid thigh with black embroider and my high heeled penny loafers. Days of our lives was on his crappy little TV, his couch smelled mostly like smoke and maybe cat pee. Which was weird because he didn’t have cats. My fiancé was texting me, I didn’t answer. I didn’t ask him to use protection, and i didn’t expect him to. He never had before.

That was the first time i cheated on him. I came. I had an intense orgasm that washed over me like warm electricity. And I felt guilty and swore i’d never even speak to Mike again. And I haven’t to this day

And now i’m running out of time. The second was more shameful. It was closer to the wedding, and sort of a last minute freak out fling. I might have to make that Part 2. It was a stranger i’d been talking with online for awhile and thing escalated.

Definitely part 2.
発行者 Sara_Pasiphae
8年前
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