Average orgasm vs intense orgasm

I think everyone probably knows the difference and has had orgasms that could be described as average. No one wants that if you can achieve really intense orgasms instead. For me one engages the brain and that makes the difference.
New experiences can help. Kinky thoughts. Going out of your comfort zone can all engage the brain and result in big orgasms. Taboo sex is helpful especially if you can turn the brain from nervous to full on sexual arousal.
My ex wife reluctantly admitted to masturbating and it took another year before I saw it for myself. The first few times she was nervous and could not orgasm then one day after a few wines she started wanking and burst through a new sexual ceiling. She owned it and she got off on the dirty thoughts while wanking furiously. This behaviour escalated until she was dirty talking, making videos, wanking outside, in front of people and always looking for the next big buzz.
She explored her world using shame, humiliation and fear to heighten her orgasms. I was relegated to enthusiastic camera man, assistant and sometimes security guy. I miss that now.