The Maid

One day, the maid asked Portia for a raise.

Upset at the suggestion, her employer asked, “Now, Darcy, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?”

“There are three reasons,” announced Darcy confidently. “The first is that I iron better than you.”

“Says who?” asked Portia.

“Your husband.”

“Oh.”

“The second reason is that I am a better cook than you,” continued Darcy.

“Who said that?”

“Your husband.”

“OK.”

“The third reason,” concluded Darcy, driving her point home, “is that I am better at sex than you.”

Sensing a pattern, a concerned Portia asked, “Did my husband say that as well?”

Darcy replied, “No, the gardener did.”