Just thinking
Sometimes I feel like I may be misrepresenting myself a bit on this site. I do feel like I should've been born a girl a lot of the time, but I'm not exactly suffering when I have to live as a normal guy either. I really enjoy dressing girly, being admired, and having sexy chats, and I also enjoy going back to my life as a quiet, invisible guy afterward. I need that downtime because I've never been comfortable being the center of attention. It's nice and exciting when I'm horny, but once I climax the shame sets in and I have to go back to normal.
This is probably pretty common, I would imagine. I'm in my early 30s, and most people in this age group grew up learning about a pretty rigid set of gender roles. Boys were supposed to do boy things and girls were supposed to do girl things, and never the two shall meet. Anyone who stepped outside of those boxes was shamed and bullied into being what everyone thought they were supposed to be.
Now we all know how wrong that was, but it doesn't really change our innermost thoughts. The things you're taught as a c***d have a way of sticking with you, and it practically takes a complete mental overhaul to get rid of them.
I often find myself wishing I'd been born later. Not only to get rid of that bad psychological programming, but also so I could grow up in a time and place where I'd be free to explore my gender identity earlier. As it is now, I'm afraid it might be too late. Even if I went on a complete hormone regimen tomorrow, I'd still probably end up as an ugly, manly-looking woman. And there'd still be that voice in the back of my head telling me that I'm just a man playing dress-up.
But it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. Sometimes I feel proud at being different, and being as open as I am about it. After all, I love nearly every aspect of femininity, so why wouldn't I be happy about having such a strong feminine side? Probably my only regret in that area is not being born female, because I feel like I have a pretty unique sense of style. But it's one a lot of people will never see, since men's clothes are pretty stifling from a stylistic standpoint. My newest gallery shows some examples of what my personal style would be if I'd been born female, if you'll all excuse a bit of shameless self-promotion. ;)
This is probably pretty common, I would imagine. I'm in my early 30s, and most people in this age group grew up learning about a pretty rigid set of gender roles. Boys were supposed to do boy things and girls were supposed to do girl things, and never the two shall meet. Anyone who stepped outside of those boxes was shamed and bullied into being what everyone thought they were supposed to be.
Now we all know how wrong that was, but it doesn't really change our innermost thoughts. The things you're taught as a c***d have a way of sticking with you, and it practically takes a complete mental overhaul to get rid of them.
I often find myself wishing I'd been born later. Not only to get rid of that bad psychological programming, but also so I could grow up in a time and place where I'd be free to explore my gender identity earlier. As it is now, I'm afraid it might be too late. Even if I went on a complete hormone regimen tomorrow, I'd still probably end up as an ugly, manly-looking woman. And there'd still be that voice in the back of my head telling me that I'm just a man playing dress-up.
But it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. Sometimes I feel proud at being different, and being as open as I am about it. After all, I love nearly every aspect of femininity, so why wouldn't I be happy about having such a strong feminine side? Probably my only regret in that area is not being born female, because I feel like I have a pretty unique sense of style. But it's one a lot of people will never see, since men's clothes are pretty stifling from a stylistic standpoint. My newest gallery shows some examples of what my personal style would be if I'd been born female, if you'll all excuse a bit of shameless self-promotion. ;)
8年前
