Dick Pics
This will be a work in progress since I don't have time right now to get into all the ways you men fail at this daunting task. It's not rocket science guys.
First off, never send out a pic of your flaccid penis. Limp dicks don't send out good signals. Unless it is a monster cock, make sure it is rock hard before you put it out there. You can't unsee things like that. Secondly, no blockage. Don't send a pic that has your hand over the better part of it because I have no idea if you have tiny Trump hands or are respawning one like Deadpool, so I need to see the whole thing please. Likewise for pics that just have the tip peeking out, wtf? How can I possibly judge the size from a head poking out from a blanket. One dipshit actually asked me if he should send the whole thing or just the tip! Third, if you are going to put it next to an object for comparison, don't use some item that no one has ever seen. For all I know that lady's body wash could be trial size! :D :D Here's a thought, how about using a ruler? That should keep y'all from adding 2" to your actual size! It's no wonder women are bad at math. And fourth, don't send a picture of you 20 feet away from the mirror. If I have to use a magnifying glass to see it, we aren't going to be hooking up.
Some friendly tips (and I'm sorry if you aren't blessed with a big dick, those are the breaks, I'm not trying to be mean but if you aren't hung then I'm not the one. We all have our right to be shallow and selective, there are plenty of women who don't care. I guess.):
If it's really small, don't send it. If the girl is even asking for a dick pic, she won't be looking for little. If it's hideous, deformed, severely two-toned, or in any way weird looking, best to not send pics of it. Get a good angle, practice, LOOK at your pictures before you send them - maybe you have a female friend who can be an impartial critic for you?). I'm not saying you should send misleading pictures, that just sets you up for disappointment, or cries of "foul!", but I've been sent plenty of pics that I've rejected as too small only to be sent a different view that makes me say "okay!" You have a better chance of scoring with wit and coolness if you have not put a little dick in my head that I will associate with you for evermore...
Well, happy hunting, I'm going fishing myself. In a barrel lolololol #pussypower
First off, never send out a pic of your flaccid penis. Limp dicks don't send out good signals. Unless it is a monster cock, make sure it is rock hard before you put it out there. You can't unsee things like that. Secondly, no blockage. Don't send a pic that has your hand over the better part of it because I have no idea if you have tiny Trump hands or are respawning one like Deadpool, so I need to see the whole thing please. Likewise for pics that just have the tip peeking out, wtf? How can I possibly judge the size from a head poking out from a blanket. One dipshit actually asked me if he should send the whole thing or just the tip! Third, if you are going to put it next to an object for comparison, don't use some item that no one has ever seen. For all I know that lady's body wash could be trial size! :D :D Here's a thought, how about using a ruler? That should keep y'all from adding 2" to your actual size! It's no wonder women are bad at math. And fourth, don't send a picture of you 20 feet away from the mirror. If I have to use a magnifying glass to see it, we aren't going to be hooking up.
Some friendly tips (and I'm sorry if you aren't blessed with a big dick, those are the breaks, I'm not trying to be mean but if you aren't hung then I'm not the one. We all have our right to be shallow and selective, there are plenty of women who don't care. I guess.):
If it's really small, don't send it. If the girl is even asking for a dick pic, she won't be looking for little. If it's hideous, deformed, severely two-toned, or in any way weird looking, best to not send pics of it. Get a good angle, practice, LOOK at your pictures before you send them - maybe you have a female friend who can be an impartial critic for you?). I'm not saying you should send misleading pictures, that just sets you up for disappointment, or cries of "foul!", but I've been sent plenty of pics that I've rejected as too small only to be sent a different view that makes me say "okay!" You have a better chance of scoring with wit and coolness if you have not put a little dick in my head that I will associate with you for evermore...
Well, happy hunting, I'm going fishing myself. In a barrel lolololol #pussypower
8年前
