High on pain

He claws my flesh, bites my inner thighs as hard as he can. I’m screaming in pain. Sometimes I won’t use my safe word when I should. He pushes my legs apart and slaps my clit a few times, while twisting my nipple, squeezing it. Slapping my face, while grabbing fistfuls of hair. I start getting shaky from the adrenaline. After playing rough I feel like I’ve been in a car wreck. My body aches. I experience strange dreams and “flashes” of things I didn’t remember a day ago. I feel happiest when he throws me to the floor and kicks me, punches me, fingers me. My face often pressed against brick, gravel, tile. I crave this treatment because I deserve it, it corrects me.