Lost

I go by Tami_ Lost or Lost_Tami on other sites. I came up with that name after my wife/Mistress passed away. It took me some time to get over it. But, I began to realize that wasn't when I was lost.

I was lost before that in a world that was expected of me. My life was a constant shift into who I am.

I was lost when I was expected to do as my older brothers (3) had done. Whether it was Boy Scouts to sports, I was always held to their standard. I fought the urge to be Tami for many years and followed in my brother's footsteps.

I marched with the drum as far as anyone could see from the outside. I went to church, played sports, did all the things I was supposed to.

I was so set on not being Tami that I joined the Army and thrived there in the macho world, all the time denying Tami existed. Went to war, served proudly and Tami was still waiting for me.

Damn, that bitch won't leave me alone! So, 3 marriages, 2 divorces and one death later, I'm still Tami.

So, the moral of the story is to stay true to who you are, because it might be all you have at some point.