Part 27 OCD
Whilst in hospital they had done a full set of STI tests on me which was the first time I had had them done, when you consider I had been working as a prostitute for the last couple of years and had been very sexually promiscuous for years beforehand, this was madness that it had taken me so long to get checked.
It took me a while to get the results as I had to transfer doctors and there was a delay getting the notes/results transferred but when the results came back I had tested positive for Chlamydia and gonorrhea. I sat stunned looking at the doctor but she confirmed that i had gotten lucky as they could both easily be treated with antibiotics.
Looking back now I wonder how long I had been infected and think what became of the men that used to pay extra to do it without a condom, did they then go home and infect their wives and girlfriends, I still lose sleep thinking about these poor women.
My good luck then deserted me when the antibiotics given to me caused the worse bout of thrush i have ever experienced, I developed an itch down there which was unbearable. My vagina soon became swollen and sore as i was literally rubbing it all the time, the only relief i could get was lying in a lukewarm bath. The thrush made me feel so dirty that i kept washing myself which unbeknown to me that the soap products were further upsetting my system and making the thrush worse. Various trips to the doctors/pharmacy were not helping and matters came to a head when Connor's mam found me naked, crying on the bathroom floor with a badly scratched bleeding Vagina.
I had only met Con's mam Mary a week before and I knew instantly from her face that she did not approve, never the less when she found me there she was and absolute angel and once she worked out through my snivelling and snots and tears that I was bleeding from some other reason than self mutilation she headed off and came back with a pot of natural yogurt which she claimed would do the trick. ludicrously I went to eat it but she stopped me with a grin a shake of the head and a point down to my privates. What Con, who had obviously been called by his mam and had rushed home to find me half naked with my privates covered in Yogurt while his mother looked on, must have thought was another matter.
Mary's natural yogurt sure did the trick and within a few days the itch was completely gone, however the feeling of being dirty never did and i started to spend more and more time in the shower trying to clean myself.
I think the dose of thrush had come at completely the wrong time for me as my brain now free from being sedated with heroin was now starting to kick back in, I started to dwell on what I had done over the last few years and I couldn't get the images of the punters out of my head. Sleeping became difficult as i used to constantly dream about the same punter fucking me, every night I would see his face looking at me as he fucked me, poor Con used to put his arms around me and just hold me till i calmed down and went back to sleep.
I didn't know it at the time but this anxiety and obsession to be clean was going to be part of my life every time I was not using heroin.
It took me a while to get the results as I had to transfer doctors and there was a delay getting the notes/results transferred but when the results came back I had tested positive for Chlamydia and gonorrhea. I sat stunned looking at the doctor but she confirmed that i had gotten lucky as they could both easily be treated with antibiotics.
Looking back now I wonder how long I had been infected and think what became of the men that used to pay extra to do it without a condom, did they then go home and infect their wives and girlfriends, I still lose sleep thinking about these poor women.
My good luck then deserted me when the antibiotics given to me caused the worse bout of thrush i have ever experienced, I developed an itch down there which was unbearable. My vagina soon became swollen and sore as i was literally rubbing it all the time, the only relief i could get was lying in a lukewarm bath. The thrush made me feel so dirty that i kept washing myself which unbeknown to me that the soap products were further upsetting my system and making the thrush worse. Various trips to the doctors/pharmacy were not helping and matters came to a head when Connor's mam found me naked, crying on the bathroom floor with a badly scratched bleeding Vagina.
I had only met Con's mam Mary a week before and I knew instantly from her face that she did not approve, never the less when she found me there she was and absolute angel and once she worked out through my snivelling and snots and tears that I was bleeding from some other reason than self mutilation she headed off and came back with a pot of natural yogurt which she claimed would do the trick. ludicrously I went to eat it but she stopped me with a grin a shake of the head and a point down to my privates. What Con, who had obviously been called by his mam and had rushed home to find me half naked with my privates covered in Yogurt while his mother looked on, must have thought was another matter.
Mary's natural yogurt sure did the trick and within a few days the itch was completely gone, however the feeling of being dirty never did and i started to spend more and more time in the shower trying to clean myself.
I think the dose of thrush had come at completely the wrong time for me as my brain now free from being sedated with heroin was now starting to kick back in, I started to dwell on what I had done over the last few years and I couldn't get the images of the punters out of my head. Sleeping became difficult as i used to constantly dream about the same punter fucking me, every night I would see his face looking at me as he fucked me, poor Con used to put his arms around me and just hold me till i calmed down and went back to sleep.
I didn't know it at the time but this anxiety and obsession to be clean was going to be part of my life every time I was not using heroin.
7年前
